sillyperson

Okay so really recently i've been a bit mean with my postings but there is a reason

Basically i wrote 'Notes From The Past' in january when i got a new computer which had vista therefore i had no internet access since vista is wierd like that. But i haven't actually written anymore for months. And here we are in august.

So now i have two case studies and an art project to do...all due in in three weeks

So i do apologise if i dont update until september time. It is honestly not my fault but at the end of the day its my last year or school now and i'm gonna have shitloads of coursework to do so blame my stupid school : D

I may post some of my other stories, panic of course, and i have one elliot minor one in the works, and a CSI:NY one in the works too but idk cause of course im not gonna be that mean and not put anything up for a month :L

But yeah

Also

I won't be on here much either cause half the time it doesnt load sooo add me on myspace i use that alot and yeah :)

www.myspace.com/_musik_addict_

Thankyou for your patience kinda people :)

xox

 

Gahhh

I was meant to be going to a gig tonight but now my parents won't let me go :(

"But your going to see fall out boy in october" I quote, thats a whole erm threeish months away?!

Right now i'd much rather be down in weston waiting for my heroes. Although i do kinda feel bad for them cause there isn't anything to do in Weston now since the peir burnt down, it did kinda have all the rides and everything on it. Kinda sad really but they're rebuilding it xD

But yeah i wannaaaa goooo seeee ELLIOT MINOR

Hmmm i could get my auntie to drive me down and i could buy a ticket on the door!? But if i went now i wouldn't get front row lol

Gah now i am ever more determined to go and see them in November, its my birthday too so ever more reason to go : )

It's be nice if panic came back over here too but i don't really see that happening really...not with the whole rockband tour. Tbf it would be ten times better if it was guitar hero, now that game pwns rockbands ass.

I'm not obsessed...

Gahhh

I was meant to be going to a gig tonight but now my parents won't let me go :(

"But your going to see fall out boy in october" I quote, thats a whole erm threeish months away?!

Right now i'd much rather be down in weston waiting for my heroes. Although i do kinda feel bad for them cause there isn't anything to do in Weston now since the peir burnt down, it did kinda have all the rides and everything on it. Kinda sad really but they're rebuilding it xD

But yeah i wannaaaa goooo seeee ELLIOT MINOR

Hmmm i could get my auntie to drive me down and i could buy a ticket on the door!? But if i went now i wouldn't get front row lol

Gah now i am ever more determined to go and see them in November, its my birthday too so ever more reason to go : )

It's be nice if panic came back over here too but i don't really see that happening really...not with the whole rockband tour. Tbf it would be ten times better if it was guitar hero, now that game pwns rockbands ass.

I'm not obsessed...

Chapter Eight: Perfect

 

Brendon’s POV

 

The baseline pulsed through the room, I knocked back the contents of my glass and it was already my second helping. Strange looks were occasionally passed between me and the others as I knelt against the wall glaring at her, the bitch who had stolen my dignity. I watched Hayley and Elspeth share a murmur as a porcelain hand pointed in my direction. With a gentle roll my hollow hazel eyes fell upon Coral who had her lips attached to Pete’s. Just looking at her made me feel sick, I needed to regain my composure, I needed to regain mid control…I needed some air. I felt my feet walking on autopilot outside to the empty balcony. I stared at the hazy horizon while curling my hands around the metal framing. I heard footsteps trailing where mine had been before, they stopped a few inches away from mine, just enough to get a waft of his scent.

 

“I’m fine you know,” I informed as he knelt on the balcony next to me.

 

“Oh really…?” He sighed sarcastically, “Because I know a lot of people that will disagree there,” He remarked while letting his hazel eyes roll.

 

“Yeah well they don’t know what’s going through my mind…” I sighed while rolling my hand over my face and staring at the half shaped moon in the sky.

 

The light from it made my eyes sting, more than they’d stung today, everything was irrelevant as I just concentrated on the past. I knew that Coral was never going to go right, but I never anticipated it ending like this, she’d taken my heart and torn it in two...

 

“You know what’s funny…?” I muttered hesitantly.

 

“What?” Ryan asked while trailing his fingers over the pattern on the metal bar.

 

“I need to…be…well I need to toughen up. I mean Coral tossed me…Audrey did, and so did Elspeth, goes to show that I need to sort something out,” I confessed while watching his expression drop, I could tense that he knew what to say but yet he was reluctant to say it.

 

“Brendon… you need to stop letting girls walk all over you,” He paused while sharpening his stare at me, “I mean I know normally you don’t moan about it…infact…you barely show any emotion whatsoever,” He preached honestly.

 

I felt like the night had stolen my voice as I nodded hesitantly at him, “Well I’m not…” I paused while thinking through the right words in my head, “I’m not the kind of person to dwell on the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’…” I sighed while feeling my heart numb in my chest.

 

“Wanna know something…?” I murmured nervously.

 

“Go for it buddy,” He smiled warmly, I sighed and stared into the stars they were almost comforting.

 

“When we were into drugs…I never understood how I felt for her…” I paused while watching his face mutter confusion.

 

“Elspeth…?” He asked quietly.

 

“Yeah…” I trailed off while feeling my eyes pierce a tear, “They took me over…when I saw her with Pete that day, when they were kissing in the bar, it made me realize…I don’t know…the penny dropped I guess,” I sighed while watching him sit on one of the chairs accompanied by a beer bottle. “It was like…when I finally got off them, the drugs that is, I saw her in a different light, like when we first met, and I realized I loved her…That’s why I don’t dwell on the past because that numbing feeling returns that haunted me when the penny dropped,” I sighed while curling my back so he couldn’t see my current composure.

 

“Loved…?” He asked after a long period of eerie silence that was trailed along with the wind.

 

“I…-“I paused as Hayley and Spencer walked onto the balcony.

 

“What’s up guys…?” Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Ah nothing…” Ryan covered up while passing me a bottle of vodka.

 

“Okay…” Hayley sighed blankly while staggering back into the apartment.

 

“Is she pissed?” Ryan asked while finishing his beer.

 

“I think so,” Spencer smirked as he watched Ryan follow her; probably to get more beer he was shedding those bottles like skin.

 

“Are you sure you wanna be drinking that…?” Spencer asked as I turned round to face him with the vodka bottle attached to my lips.

 

“I’m always sure,” I smirked as he returned the smile, I could tell he was being genuine, he hardly ever drunk, Hayley on the other hand…well she most certainly did.

 

“Spencer…!” She cried as she pounded back onto the balcony with Elspeth in tow. “I want some sex lets go back to the bus,” She slurred honestly.

 

I couldn’t help but laugh as his cheeks flushed a bloody red, “You don’t wanna let your woman down Spence,” I taunted as he groaned, her arms hastily pulled him off the balcony so it was just me and Elspeth.

 

“Vodka…?” I asked with a strong smile, she nodded almost on impulse and slugged down the liquid, “Oh so lady like,” I smirked as she raised her middle finger at me. 

 

“What were you and Spencer talking about…?” She asked while handing me back the bottle.

 

“Oh nothing…” I said hastily with a small smile to try and avoid confrontation, “I’m gonna head back to the bus,” I murmured while gently biting my lip.

 

As I slowly let my feet carry me on autopilot I felt her hand grasp tightly in mine. “Was it really nothing…?” She asked half seriously as the Vodka was already kicking in.

 

“Err…” I paused and glanced into her ocean blue eyes, “Yeah it was…nothing,” I sighed while loosening her gentle grip…  

 

 

 

I sighed while trailing my fingers round the rim of my coffee cup it was dark as the bus lay still in the car park. I heard giggling come from the bunks, slouching deeper into my seat I just wanted it to swallow me up. I waited alone at the back of the bus, coffee keeping me awake and the anger pushing me over. I watched as Ryan joined me in the back of the bus, a vodka bottle half empty in one hand and the other shoved in his pocket.

 

“What’s up Grumpy guts?” He smirked while swigging down more vodka.

 

“Nothing…it would be pointless telling you also as you won’t remember a thing tomorrow,” I smirked while watching his face turn to confusion.

 

“What are we talking about?” He asked dazedly.

 

“Nothing…” I sighed while knocking back my coffee, “When you were in your last relationship…how long did it take for the warm feeling inside to go away…?” I asked quietly so only he could here.

 

“Warm feeling…” He slurred while pouring vodka accidently down his stripped pants, “Ah…not long,” He shrugged casually, “This stuff helped though,” He laughed while throwing the other bottle of vodka at me.

 

I sighed and stared at the crystal clear water with a shrug the bottle was attached to my lips and quarter was gone. I exhaled deeply as the burning sensation crept down my throat, I hated vodka.

 

“Now, now…underage drinking is wrong,” Ryan smirked while lying down on the other sofa, “I shouldn’t allow it,” He slurred as seriously as the fluid would let him.

 

“Oh what you gonna do…?” I laughed while slugging down some more.

 

“I’m gonna…” He paused while rolling off the sofa and hard on to the floor, “That hurt,” He laughed while staring at the ceiling.

 

“You know I never noticed how blue this floor is,” He smeared while rolling his fingers over the plush carpet, over the odd stain, looked like wine but it was probably blood.

 

“I…” I paused while finishing the bottle, “I’m going to bed,” I muttered while staggering to my feet.

 

The world seemed to shift as my balance tipped off slightly, I heard Ryan laugh randomly in the background as I drifted to my bed, and I rolled my fingers over the wooden plank above the bed itself. “It’s got wood,” I murmured while noticing in the corner of my eye a curtain open.

 

“Brendon what the hell are you doing…?” Elspeth asked while staring at me.

 

“I got wood,” I slurred while watching her eyes widen, “No…!” I cried hastily while watching Ryan slur at me.

 

“If you got wood then you have a very small penis,” He remarked with a laugh as Elspeth pulled me into the bed.

 

My head hit the softness of her pillow as I made myself comfortable; her beautiful smell crept up my nostrils as I half shut my eyes.

 

“You smell good,” I slurred while feeling a smile form on my lips; I watched her move and rest her body upon her elbows.

 

“You are most certainly drunk,” She laughed while letting her pearls for eyes twinkle.

 

“I’m not lying…I love your smell…it’s…sexy,” I laughed as I murmured the last word.

 

She smiled softly at me as I ran my fingers through my hair and let it flow in front of my eyes.

 

“Want the rest…?” I asked as I showed her half a bottle of vodka I had grabbed off Ryan when his ass found the floor.

 

She shrugged and downed it, I watched breathlessly as she groaned and rested her body flat on the bed next to me. I rolled onto my side rested my upper body weight with my elbows.

 

“I’m such a fucking bitch Brendon,” She said suddenly as her eyes reddened, “I mean…” She paused as I titled my head to the side, “How can you even talk to me after…”

 

“Because you’re lovely,” I smirked while rolling my fingers over her fringe and uncovering her topaz blue eyes, “You don’t understand…I let you down, I let you slip away, I gave in…every night I have spent with you when Coral wasn’t there made me regret every second. You made me fall to my feet just by saying my name, you made me do the right things maybe not at the right times but they were there…” I stammered while watching her stare confused at me.

 

“Brendon…what are you saying?” She asked while inching closer towards me.

 

“I’m saying…I’m sorry I can’t be perfect, I’m sorry that I can be an ass, and I’m sorry that Pete is right,” I slurred while watching her lips quiver.

 

“Right about what…?” She asked nervously, I sighed while glancing out of the stare a second. I returned while bringing my lips closer towards hers…

 

Bwhahaha cliff hanger? YES XD

Sorry about the lack of updates i've been addicted to the sims 2, and also been busy sleeping and all that jazz :D

But while im here I SPOKE TO ELLIOT MINOR ON THE PHONE!! Yes :D

Who are they? They are amazing :) www.myspace.com/elliotminor

Go check them out, tell me what you think :)

Chapter Seven: Don’t pretend

 

Brendon’s POV

 

Slow motion, it was how my world seemed to be running right now. All morning he’d been slyly glancing at my expression. I hadn’t bothered to change it since I saw my ex-girlfriend climbing out of his bunk at 6am. I had given up on pretending to care; I had battled into everyone who had insulted her, only to get it thrown back in my face. I felt someone jump onto the sofa next to me, her smell oozed up my nostrils as she slouched deep into the seat.

 

“Cheer up,” She said happily. I stared deep into her eyes and got lost in the millions of pixels of blue she carried.

 

“What is the attraction to him? I mean you slept with him, she did…” I asked while lowering my eyebrows.

 

“Brendon,” She said firmly, “I was drunk when I slept with him…and more to the point it was more…of like I was pissed off and I needed someone to take that away.” She muttered honestly.

 

I lowered my eyebrows and glared at him and her; they had been all over each other since they had woken up.

 

“How the fuck could she had loved me? I mean…” I paused and slowly patted down my hair, “How am I supposed to trust someone now?” I sighed while holding my head with my hands.

 

“Brendon…” Elspeth said again, “She threw a bucket at your head, she…you don’t need her,” She said soothingly in my ear.

 

I bit my bottom lip and brought my head closer to hers, I could feel her hot breath in my ear, and it was like a drug, being with her, everything else melted away.

 

“You know it’s almost as if the bus is split in two,” Spencer smirked as he sat on his bed.

 

“Say what?” I asked while half opening my eyes and facing him.

 

“Well we have you up this end and Mc Whore face at the other…I heard the whole bucket thing last night sounded painful.” He said with a small smirk, “But you have to admit your half asleep argument was funny,” He added while pulling his PSP out of his coat pocket.

 

“Spencer weirdly enough I didn’t find it funny,” I said with a quiet roll of the eyes.

 

I watched his expression drop as he lay down on his bed; while I slowly melted into the chair and shut my eyes. When I was kid I always dreamt of finding the right girl, crazy as it sounds I had actually given up before Coral…as I had already found the one. I vowed when I first met Coral that I wouldn’t let her scratch the surface too deep before I had figured her out. In a perfect world I never would have got with her, and none of the memories of the last two days would exist…but you can’t mess with fate.

 

I gently forced my eyes open as the bus came to a sudden halt, “Why aren’t we moving?” I heard Ryan call from one of the bunks.

 

“Because we’re here,” I muttered while walking to the front of the bus, “Right?” I asked Hayley as I stopped next to her at the front of the bus.

 

“Yeah…Viva Las Vegas,” She smirked while jumping off the bus.

 

I deeply inhaled the fresh air, such a relief after being cooped up in that bus with them watching my every move like freaking vultures.

 

“Last show…that’s good,” Ryan yawned while stretching his arms above his head, “Isn’t there that party tonight Pete?” Ryan asked as he walked off the bus.

 

“Why yes there is,” Pete smirked while glancing in my direction.

 

“Just another excuse for you to check for lumps,” I mumbled while walking off towards the hotel.

 

“Brendon!” I heard Pete call as his feet thudded towards me.

 

“What?” I snapped while turning round to face him, I could feel my muscles tensing as I lowered my eyebrows and stared at his worried face.

 

“What’s your problem dude?” He asked while raising his eyebrow.

 

“I can’t believe your actually asking me this you asshole,” I said coldly while watching the others just stare at us nervously. “Your fucking unbelievable, you first of all ask me if it’s okay to date Elspeth…then literally six hours later you fuck my ex-girlfriend,” I sighed while glaring into his eyes, “Do you not have any recognition for anyone else’s feelings besides your own?” I spat coldly.

 

I watched his lip quiver as his eyebrows lowered, over the horizon I watched carefully as a fake shape made its way towards us.

 

“I’ve done you a favor Brendon,” Pete said finally while stepping closer towards. 

 

“No,” I said hastily while throwing out my hand, I took a few steps back, “Don’t come anywhere near me,” I said mercilessly, “Trust me you have not done me any favors,” I added while feeling my fist clench.

 

“You call me an asshole?” Pete cried, “You’re the asshole, and yeah I have done you a favor because everyone knows you’re in love with Elspeth at least now you can finally admit it to yourself!” He cried seriously.

 

“What the fuck?” I spat while watching Spencer run over to the two of us, “That was a very long time ago Pete and do you remember you managed to fuck that up to?” I spat as Spencer grabbed my shirt and started to pull me towards the hotel.

 

“Spencer,” I said blankly as he let go of me.

 

I swallowed my gut as Coral walked towards me, her eyeliner thick and heavy and her scowl washing across her strawberry lips, “And what the hell do you want?” I slurred while facing her smug face.

 

“Get a fucking life Brendon,” She smirked coldly.

 

“You’re the one that finds pleasure from throwing buckets about, or were you having too much fun having sex as I passed out in my bed for you to remember?” I said coldly as her smug composure fell and she stepped toward me.

 

“Why the hell are you blaming me for this, you’re the one that put himself through the misery of just watching from the sidelines,” She whispered heartlessly.

 

“What?” I said simply.

 

“Come on Brendon we’re going,” Spencer said hastily.

 

“No…let her tell her little speech,” I said sharply as a smug stare appeared over her face.

 

“Every night when I was away you lay there watching her, gagging for her, ever since you two broke it off a year ago; I bet even when we were having sex you were fantasizing. You’re pathetic,” She said coldly while turning round and walking towards Pete.

 

I felt Spencer grab my arm and pull me towards the hotel, “Are you okay?” He asked me as I concentrated on the floor.

 

“I’m fine,” I said blankly, I could feel my heart numbing softly in my chest, every thought that pierced my mind scolded my eyes.

 

“You’re not fine,” He said while picking up both of our keycards.

 

“I just feel empty,” I said blankly as his cautious eyes glanced into mine, “If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be in this mess, he broke me and her up,” I said while feeling my stomach twist a little more.

 

“No…she broke you up when she threw a bucket at you,” He replied with a casual smirk as we walked towards the elevator.

 

“Err yeah,” I said quickly while pushing in the button into the wall, it felt like we were talking about two different things, he probably didn’t realize it but I knew.

 

I knelt against the wall and stared into the hollow door frame, everything just melted into prospective as I noticed two familiar faces mould into the setting. I heard the elevator doors shudder open as the contents flew out like a flock of doves.

 

“You know I might get the next one,” I suggested while curling my fingers around my door key.

 

“Okay I’ll come and knock for you in about an hour,” He smiled while placing himself in the center of the elevator.

“Yeah,” I said in unison of the doors closing.

I slowly shut my eyes and waited for the other elevator to arrive, I always had a thing for the right, didn’t know why it was just another one of those things. I could tense someone’s present gaining towards me like a bullet from a gun, I slowly opened my eyes, and her eyes glanced into mine. I heard the doors open from the side of me; I slowly looked at her one last time as the people flocked out again. She leant against the desk and tilted her head as I placed myself in the center of the elevator like Spencer had done minutes before, I glanced into her ocean blue eyes and then drew my head to the floor as the elevator doors slammed shut.

Sorry about the delay...im getting kinda lazy at updating :P

Chapter Six: Under the gun

 

Brendon’s POV

 

“You know who needs TV when you have that entertainment like that,” Ryan smirked while passing me a wet flannel.

 

“Seriously shut the f-“I paused and tried to regain my vision, “Look if I felt…okay…then maybe I’d have a go so just shut up.” I sighed while looking at all the blood on my flannel.

 

“Jesus, she really must have dropped that bucket from some height to get that effect,” He snarled while applying pressure to my forehead.

 

“Yeah,” I said while clenching my jaw.

 

“Sorry,” Ryan said weakly, “Does this mean that…you and Coral are-“

 

“What over? Yes she’s gone and I don’t want to see her ever again,” I groaned while grabbing the flannel off him.

 

I watched Elspeth walk into the dim lighted room and raise an eyebrow. I quickly looked down, I hated people seeing me in pain, and ever since I’d got knocked out at reading it had pushed my pain barrier down a lot.

 

“What happened to you?” She asked caringly, I nervously took the flannel off my head as Ryan ushered himself out of the room.

 

“Your seriously,” I clenched my jaw a second as I applied some more pressure on my cut, “Your telling me you didn’t hear my little spat with Coral?” I said with a weak smile.

 

“No I had my headphones in,” She said while crossing her legs and sitting down next to me.

 

“Oh…well she dropped a bucket on my head,” I said while feeling my cheeks burn a little.

 

“Bitch,” She said simply while placing her hand on my flannel, “Let me,” She said softly, I felt her hand brush against mine as she pressured the flannel on my temple.

 

“Why is your hair all wet by the way?” She asked with a small smile.

 

“She kind of threw water on me first,” I said with a small grin on my face.

 

“Ah,” She said simply.

 

“Elspeth…” I said sheepishly, her careful eyes stared into mine her eyebrows frowned as I stared shyly into her eyes, “I’m…I’m sorry I called you a jealous bitch, I only said it because I was tired of people just…butting in. Turns out…you were right though,” I murmured nervously.

 

I watched a small smile form on her face, “Yeah well…I did call you heartless and a bastard…you’re anything but that, big heart, big spirit,” She smirked while wiping away some more of the blood. “Anyway I heard some of your argument with Coral…I thought the ass licking part was quite funny,” She laughed while taking away the flannel.

 

“Part of the moment in all fairness,” I sighed while watching her place a Band-Aid over my cut, “Ouch…” I muttered as the plastic touched my skin.

 

“Maybe it’s better if you just let it breathe for now,” She said while taking away the Band-Aid.

 

“Thanks,” I said sheepishly while stumbling to my feet, “Whoa…” I muttered while holding my balance on the corner of the sofa.

 

Elspeth slowly wrapped her arm around my waist and helped me walk along the corridor. The bus was eerily quiet as I lay down on my bed, which was weirdly dry, compared to the amount of water Coral had thrown on me.

 

“I know I’ve said it before, but thanks Elspeth,” I said genuinely.

 

“It’s okay,” She said with a strong smile, “It actually looks like it’s starting to bleed again,” She said seriously.

 

“Great,” I said while rolling my eyes.

 

She smiled and lay down on the bed next to me, she gently rolled over and placed her hand on my chest, “Hold still,” She said seriously while placing the flannel on my temple again.

 

“You couldn’t apply anymore pressure eh?” I said sarcastically with a small smirk.

 

“Is that a request Mr. Urie?” She smirked while poking out her tongue.

 

“I think I’m okay for now,” I smiled while staring intensely into her ocean eyes.

 

She smiled softly at me as she slowly checked to see if the bleeding had stopped. I nervously snaked my arm around her waist and whispered softly, “It doesn’t matter if it hasn’t stopped I just want to sleep,” I said while watching a small smile appear on her face.

 

“Okay…looks like its stopping now anyway,” She said while removing the flannel and placing it on the side.

 

“Trust me it doesn’t feel like it,” I sighed while half closing my eyes.

 

“Brendon…are you okay?” She asked seriously.

 

“I feel a bit dizzy,” I murmured as I felt my blood trickle from my wound over my eye…

 

“You know,” I heard Ryan start as he lay down on the sofa opposite me.

 

“What do you know?” I asked hesitantly while peering up the bus to check it was just me and him awake.

 

He didn’t reply instantly as I sat down at the kitchen table and pulled the contents of my pocket onto the surface. A small crash echoed though the area as I placed everything back in apart from a small clear bag.

”I know that cocaine is no good for you,” He snarled as I measured some out onto the table, “Seriously,” He sighed as I inhaled the white powder forcing it up my nose, I felt my head rush as I placed the bag back into my pocket and slumping back down onto the sofa.

 

“You know what I think is no good for you,” I smirked while watching his eyes roll, “Whining, you’ll make yourself ill,” I said dazedly.

 

“And by sniffing that powder you’re not?” He retaliated with a cold tone.

 

“Sorry…” I said sincerely while throwing him a small smile, he returned and shook out his hand.

 

I reached towards it as I heard foot steps trailing up the corridor, as if someone had hit the slow motion button I missed Ryan hand’s and fell flat on my back onto the floor. I slowly opened my eyes as my vision was more blurry than normal, I could hear the slurring of Ryan’s laugh as I looked up at Elspeth and Roxi.

 

“Jesus,” I slurred as Roxi slumped next to Ryan, while Elspeth made herself comfortable where I sat before.

 

“Are you like just going to lie there?” Ryan mocked as I stared the ceiling.

 

“Apparently,” I smirked with the roll of the eyes; I grabbed hold of Elspeth’s hand which was waving for me to catch.

 

“Where you guys going?” I asked informally as the other two stood up.

 

“To the back of the bus that’s all…for you know, some privacy,” Ryan said hesitantly before disappearing into the darkness.

 

“Whatever,” I sighed while feeling the world spin as I glanced at Elspeth, “You know you’re very pretty,” I said honestly while watching a sly smirk appear on her face.

 

“Brendon seriously did you hit you’re head?” She sighed while raising an eyebrow at me.

 

“My heads fine,” I paused while watching her slouch back into the chair, “I just feel like being honest, you’re pretty, and elegant and your scent…its like some wild flower,” I murmured honestly.

 

“Yeah well I know when you’ve taken drugs so you’ll of forgotten about this in the morning, so to avoid embarrassment I won’t tell anyone,” She sighed irritably. 

 

“So I have taken a little drug, that doesn’t change the way I feel about you…just on my honesty it’s like truth serum,” I smirked while watching the blue in her eyes dance.

 

“Yeah-“Before she could finish the sentence my lips were brushing against hers, she slowly pressed hers against mine as I placed my hand loosely on her knee.

 

I gently took my lips away as she stared dreamily into my eyes, “Now do you believe me?” I smirked as she pressed her lips onto mine again; I felt her tongue burst into my mouth as her kiss was harder and more intense.

 

I felt my body slowly lean forward as she slowly let my body rest on top of hers, my hand moved slowly from her knee towards her waist as I trailed my lips down her neck.

 

“You smell good,” I whispered between kisses.

 

“Maybe we should-“

 

“Go to my bed? Yeah just what I as thinking,” I smirked while scooping her up into my arms and carrying her off towards my bed…

 

“Brendon,” I heard a soft voice call as she gently shook my shoulder.

 

I gently forced my eyes open as Elspeth’s concerning face looked down at me. “What time is it?” I asked while sitting up to her level.

 

“3am,” She smirked while watching my tired expression groan, “You passed out…I was worried.” She said seriously.

 

“Oh please don’t say you called an ambulance?” I groaned while turning over and burying my head into the pillow

.

“Aww you’re so cute when you’re grumpy,” She laughed while lying back down, “No I didn’t, but luckily I got a Band-Aid over your eyebrow, but it isn’t that wise to put pressure on it.” She sighed seriously.

 

“Now you mention my head doesn’t feel that great…” I murmured nervously while turning onto my side.

 

“Yeah well at least you’re talking…it was only a bucket,” She said with a small smile.

 

“Shut up,” I smirked while watching her expression gleam, “I have a very low pain barrier,” I said honestly.

 

“Oh I never would have guessed Brendon…do you always get delusional when you hurt yourself?” She asked while smiling at me.

 

“Delusional?-“

 

“Brendon you ate all the Oreos again…“Ryan groaned while pulling back my curtain.

 

“Have you ever heard of…you know…asking to open the curtains first?” I groaned while again burying my head into my pillow.

 

“Oh I’m sorry I see you two are in the middle of something,” He smirked while raising his eyebrows.

 

“We were just talking,” Elspeth sighed while gently hitting him on the chest.

 

“And again sorry,” He smirked while joining us in cabin.

 

“You know this is a very small bed,” I moaned while sitting up so he could sit down in the bed.

 

“What are you doing up so early anyway?” Elspeth asked while shuffling closer towards me so Ryan had some leg room at our end.

 

“I didn’t sleep…well actually more like I couldn’t sleep,” He yawned while rolling his fingers through his hair, “Pete had some company and I actually thought the bunk above me was going to break at one point,” He moaned honestly.

 

“Seriously…” I smirked.

 

I watched as Ryan slowly poked his head out of the curtain, “Someone’s coming out of his bunk,” He whispered quietly.

 

Before I put my head out Elspeth slowly placed her hand on my chest, “Are you sure you want to put your head out there?” She said while gritting her teeth.

 

“Stupid question Elsie,” I smirked while putting my head out the curtain to see none other than Coral appear out of his bunk.

 

I hastily put my head back in and slouched against the wall. “I should have listened to you,” I sighed while placing my head in my hands, “She really is a whore.”

 

Oh oh oh i updated (Y)

What do you think?

Comments are goooooood xD

Chapter Five: Slowdance on the inside

 

Brendon’s POV

 

I shut my eyes again, hard and tight, I just didn’t want to look at her, every time my stomach felt sick. Every word that I spat felt like a big mistake, what if I hadn’t of called her a jealous bitch…maybe then last night wouldn’t have happened. I noticed the shy glances they both shared, concentrate and control my mind on something, anything else.

 

“Hey babe,” I heard a familiar voice call while resting their head on my chest.

 

“Hey Cora,” I said blankly while keeping my eyes firmly shut.

 

“You know it’s rude not to look at the person you’re talking to,” She said with a sly tone.

 

I sighed deeply and flicked my eyes open; my eyes laid eyes of her, no not Coral…but Elspeth. Headphones jammed in her ears, she was slouching on Hayley like before every show, and it made me smile always.

 

“Are you nervous or something?” Coral asked while placing her soft hand on my cheek.

 

“Err…” I stuttered and drew my eyes towards hers, “Yeah…I just need some me time right now,” I said while kissing on the cheek.

 

I forced a weak smile as I got up and waited outside in the corridor. I slowly banged my head against the wall as I heard the echoing of thousands of fans calling only a few meters away. The stage was the one place I could escape everything, it was where I belonged, all the hopes and fears of my personal life would just…disappear. But tonight…the stage was one place I didn’t want to go, not knowing that when I get back off it I’ll have Coral expecting some attention…I wouldn’t even get my own bed. It sounded selfish but I didn’t want her, I didn’t want her fake hands touching me, not when I was in love with someone else.

 

“Brendon…can I talk to you?” I heard a voice ask from beside me. I turned my head and watched as Pete nervously played with the zipper on his hoodie like everyone did.

 

“Yeah,” I sighed while running my hair through my fingers, “Come on Wentzy out with it,” I smirked.

 

“This morning…I kind of got the feeling you were mad that I slept with Elspeth…and I wanted to say-“

 

“Pete…I have a girlfriend…me and Elspeth are no longer friends at all so do whatever you want,” I sighed while feeling my heart drop, I really did not want to have this conversation.

 

“Ah okay,” He said awkwardly.

 

“Panic, you guys are on in five!” I heard a voice call from up the end of the corridor.

 

“Come on Bren…we gotta rock Seattle,” Ryan smirked while pulling me along the corridor.

 

For a change my heart wasn’t pumping with adrenalin as I watched from the side of the stage, I felt sick, I bit my tongue and thought of what I’d just said. I’d just given her away, away forever.

 

After the show on the bus…

 

“Dude that crowd was awesome,” Jon smirked while wrapping his arm around Izzie.

 

“It was alright, I prefer smaller gigs, more intimacy,” I said while pulling off my shirt.

 

“What is this…the full Monty? Seriously Brendon your girlfriend’s not even around,” Izzie laughed while throwing a pillow at me.

 

“She doesn’t have to be attached to me,” I smirked while watching Elspeth walk onto the bus.

 

“Dude half of the time she is and I mean literally,” Spencer laughed from the cabin area.

 

“Oh fuck you,” I said with a quiet roll of the eyes, “At least I’m getting some, no offense Hayley,” I retaliated while grabbing a box of Oreos out of the cupboard.

 

I heard a groan come from the cabin, “From the sounds of it you’re wrong Brenny Bear,” Jon smirked while leading Izzie to the back on the coach.

 

I bit my bottom lip and slouched on the sofa opposite Elspeth, I noticed her glance into my oaky brown eyes. I could feel my heart racing quicker again, like it would before I went on stage but today it didn’t. I didn’t know what to say because sorry wasn’t good enough. I watched her slowly rise to her feet and open the cupboard, I knew what she was looking for and I’d just taken the last box.

 

“We’re kind of out,” I said blankly while shoving my mouth full of more Oreos.

 

“Yeah I guessed that,” She said coldly while walking over to the bunks.

 

I sighed and slouched deeper into my chair. I heard the door open, I knew who it was, I was the kind of person who could tell who was coming just by their footsteps.

 

“You weren’t in the dressing room…” She sighed sadly while sitting next to me.

 

“No I wasn’t,” I replied blankly.

 

“What is up with you today? Ever since this morning you’ve been acting like I don’t exist,” She said coldly.

 

“No I haven’t,” I said firmly while brushing my hands through my hair, “I just have things on my mind...just tell me since when has the world revolved around Coral?” I spat while getting up. 

 

“You’re such an asshole,” She said coldly.

 

“And that makes you what…an ass licker then?” I said while coldly walking off to my bunk, I jumped into my bed and buried my head in my pillow.

 

That smell of lavender was still wafting on my pillow; I deeply inhaled its sweet scent and closed my eyes. I imaged her in my head, the way things used to be, I just wanted them to go back to how they should be. I shut my eyes harder and felt the world melt away, and notes from the past submerging back…

 

“How cool is that…we’re on the front of a magazine, a real magazine,” Ryan smirked while waving the magazine in front of my face.

 

“We do look pretty awesome,” I smirked while reading the article, “And it doesn’t make us sound like twats,” I said genuinely, “Where’s Pete anyway?” I asked while passing the magazine to a half awake Spencer.

 

“I think he went to get some of his friends from the airport,” Ryan said while pouring himself some Lucky Charms.

 

“Oh...” I said blankly, I slowly sat down and watched the bus door open and Pete smirk at us all as two girls followed him.

 

“You’re pimping man,” Spencer smirked while half opening his eyes.

 

“Yeah,” Pete smiled while sitting next to Ryan, “Guys I’d like you to meet my friends from Chicago, Roxi and Elspeth,” He said openly.

 

I slowly flattened my hair down like I always would when I was nervous, I watched as a girl with caramel blonde hair sat down next to me.

 

Her eyes were a striking blue, they molded the center of interest in her facial features, and she was perfect.

 

“I’m Brendon,” I smiled while feeling my cheeks go a shade of red.

 

“Elspeth,” She smirked while tilting her head to the side, “Pete’s right you do look better in reality than in pictures,” She said honestly.

 

“Best compliment I’ve had all day,” I smiled while staring deeply into her ocean blue eyes…

 

“Get up you wanker,” I heard someone shout, I hastily flipped over as cold water hit the back of my head.

 

“What the hell did you do that for?” I groaned while clenching the back of my head.

 

“Because we argue and all you do is go to fucking sleep,” Coral shouted while throwing more water onto my head, “You don’t even bother to fight anymore, you’re so fucking absent,” She was practically screaming at me now.

 

“Do you want to stop that?” I gasped while feeling the coldness freeze my skin.

 

“Err let me think about it,” She paused and unison with her speaking, “No,” She poured the last contents and the bucket on my head.

 

Thanks you for bearing with me on this one, been slightly sidetracked with all the coursework deadlines but this is quite a good chapter to make up for it i think :)

What do you thinkkkkk???

Chapter one: Time After time and we’re still the same.

 

Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I swear, I can still hear his voice murmuring in my ear next to me. Sometimes I still feel his hot touch burn off my skin. Sometimes I believe that he is still mine, but then the alarm clock screams through the glass that is this reality. Do I care? Yes, the mirrors are like glass, all I see is what he did, I see the pain, I see the lust, I see that shards of my love I gave him, the love that he so bitterly threw back at me. My eyes were staring directly back at me as my fingers creased over the edges of the desk, why was I letting him do this, I had come here to defeat him, to run from him. I hated this.

 

“We’re rolling in five,” I heard a voice call to me from the doorframe.

 

With a sigh I rolled my eyes over my composure to make sure everything looked okay, throwing on a fake smile was going to be hard today. Ah today, today I was finally doing some work, I had been casted as an extra in a new music video, at least it was something to take my mind off things, and the money wasn’t too bad either. I slowly turned around and let my feet carry me closer towards the Californian sunlight that was creeping away from its sunny friend. I loved California, I’d only been here for three months but I’d fallen in love with the place, it was a million miles away from what I called home, weather wise and distance wise, but it was perfect here. My eyes traced to the floor as I flew my caramel hair out of my eyes and towards the side of my brow. I felt my body collide with someone else’s as I approached the sunlight, he instantly picked up the cup he’d knocked out of my hand and looked up at me with his ocean eyes, they were like a mirror image to mine. Stupid Elspeth off with the fairies again, and this time they stole my coffee.

 

“I’m sorry,” He started as he handed me back the now empty coffee cup, “Let me buy you another,” He offered as in noted his accent, it was distinctively British, like not the cockney kind but educated.

 

“No its fine, seriously,” I sighed while trying to force a small smile out of my tired composure.

 

I watched as his eyes studied my expression, why was he still even stood there? Did he actually care? It was only a cup of coffee. I studied the way his chocolate brown hair was combed out of his eyes unveiling there perfect gem stone status, the red stripe on the right of his head enhanced the blue in such a captivating way, he wasn’t exactly terrible looking.

“Are you…okay?” He asked hesitantly as I quickly glanced out of his stare.

 

“I’m fine,” I sighed while leaning up against the wall behind me.

 

“Of course you are,” He smirked while shuffling closer towards me.

 

He was slightly taller than me, well in all honesty almost everyone was taller than me, I barely stood at five foot four therefore he towered above me.

 

“People like me…we’re never okay, you get used to it, no worries and all that shit,” I smirked while gluing my eyes shut.

 

“Well maybe I can help you be okay, I’m a nice guy really…I don’t make a habit of knocking coffee over people…although people do make a habit of sabotaging mine.” I heard him murmur while circling me and placing himself up against the wall, his arm brushing against mine.

 

“Oh really…?” I smirked as he let a small laugh form out of his composure.

 

“Really, really,” He paused with a smile across his fragile lips, “The guys put butter in it last time, and unopened milk tablets…the bastards, and the thing is I was half awake and it was like, ‘What the…oh no’ but it was really delayed so I made a total ass out of myself,” He explained with a gentle smile which was permently conversing his lips.

 

“Your friends sound really nice,” I smiled while drawing my attention to the busy crowd of people at the end of the street.

 

“They are…are you needed down there?” He asked while joining my line of stare.

 

“I think so,” I sighed while staring back into his eyes again.

 

“You’re not who I think you are, are you? Because if you are then we can practice kissing now…” He laughed as I suddenly felt a wave of confusion roll through my body.

 

“What the hell…?” I laughed, I could feel my cheeks burning I could just imagine the fire bell going off on my head.

 

“Sorry…I’ve just made an ass outta myself,” He laughed also trying to avoid his embarrassment, “I hoped…well thought, you were the girl I kiss in the video,” He mumbled while rolling his fingers through his fringe and keeping his concentration on the floor.

 

“Hoped eh? Well…” I smirked; I hadn’t been hit on by a guy this cute in a long time.

 

“Ah well, at least let me repay you that coffee, then I could possibly make you feel a bit more closer to okay than not,” He muttered while folding his arms behind his back.

 

“Seriously it’s okay…I don’t need a-“Before I could carry on he cut me off with his strings of perfect words.

 

“No seriously I insist, and since I just met you I refuse to have an argument about this,” He smirked while throwing his hair out of his eyes.

 

“Kind of nice to hear that good old accent,” I smirked, Christ what a terrible way to create small talk.

 

“Yeah, the only other accents I hear is the guys,” He smiled, it was cute how his lip curled slightly whenever he talked, “Its Alex by the way,” He introduced while reaching out his hand.

 

“Elspeth,” I smiled while shaking my hand in his.

 

“I gotta go…” He started while grabbing my hand and pulling a pen out of his pocket, “Here’s my number and it’s in sharpie so there’s no excuse not to get back to me with that coffee,” He smirked as I felt the pen tickle over my pale skin.

 

Before I knew it he was off on his way, the only strange thing I found about that conversation is he gave me this weird feeling. It was like someone was sat on my stomach after a really big meal, and I hadn’t felt that in a long time. What amazing ability he had, I’d known him two minutes and he had the ability to make me feel sick, what a complement. But of course being the person I am I would never say that, in a perfect, or imperfect, world. With a sigh I walked towards the area that seemed to be surrounded by a lot of the crew, I guess this was where I was supposed to be.

 

“Okay everyone,” A reasonably tall guy announced, “We’re going to shoot the shop scenes,” He announced, I had no idea what that was but all I did know is I had no reason to be in that part. This meant another hour of waiting, another hour of thinking, another hour of him tormenting me…

 

I gently shut my eyes rested my body against the wall, there wasn’t that many extras in all honesty, at least it was on a nice setting. I feel the wind blowing onto my cheek from up the man made street; it was a classic American boulevard, weird since it was an English band.

 

“I hear this band suck,” I heard a voice mutter in my direction.

 

I quickly turned my attention to a black haired guy who was stood next to me, also leaning against the wall; his pearly whites were gleaming at me as he stared into my eyes. His eyes were a bold shade of brown that matched perfectly with his stare; his Japanese perfections were clear in just a glance. His black hair was perfectly styled with a rare hair out of place of the black mesh, and the odd freckle crept away from his tanned skin as I took his composure in.

 

“I’ve never heard of them,” I smiled while watching him pull a case out of his surprisingly small pocket.

 

“Take a listen,” He smiled while handing me the disc, from the front cover I could tell instantly he knew the band quite well.

 

“Very modest,” I smirked while glancing at the picture then back into his eyes, “Very modest saying this band sucks and you’re in the band,” I smiled while watching him raise his hands up as if I had caught him red handed.

 

“Yeah we do suck, but, we’re still better than you,” He smirked as I let my ocean eyes roll.

 

“I’m not even in a band,” I snarled while glancing at the cover, and there he was directly in the middle, the boy I had bumped into earlier…or had bumped into me, I hadn’t quite worked out the matter of fault.

 

The point was that we had met, and I had felt something, Elspeth Rea, the biggest member of the lonely hearts club felt something.

 

“Sorry where are my manners,” He smirked while shuffling closer towards me, “I’m Ed,” He smiled while reaching out his hand.

 

Why did everyone do that round here?

 

“Elspeth,” I smiled while grasping his hand in mine, it was reasonably cold but firm, I could tell he was a musician.

 

He returned it with a small smile, he gently let go and drew his attention to the blaring music that I guessed was his single. I watched as the guy I had met minutes before mingled with a pretty brunette girl and placed a simple kiss on her lips.

 

“Holy shit,” I groaned while watching him mingle with her between takes, I heard a sigh form from Ed’s gentle composure.

 

“He’s a lucky, lucky guy,” He sighed, I glanced into his eyes and watched a gentle flame of anger flicker in the corner of his stare…at least I wasn’t the only one jealous, which was oddly reassuring, even though he wasn’t jealous of the girl, but Alex.

 

“If you say so,” I sighed while rolling my fingers through my hair.

 

“Ohh,” He smirked while raising his eyebrows seductively, “So you’ve got the hots for Alex,” He smiled while nudging my side.

 

“Shut up, you have the hots for that girl,” I hit back while watching his eyes gently roll.

 

“No I don’t, it’s just saying something that Alex is getting some action…there’s hope for us all,” He smirked while letting his lips craft that perfect smile yet again.

 

“Nice…” I sighed while shutting my eyes tightly.

 

“Either way, I’m a better kisser than him, so that girl is kinda sucking really,” He murmured as I felt a laugh converse my lips.

 

“So you’ve kissed him to know that…?” I laughed as his face dropped a stone cold.

 

“Hell no…!” He cried as I burst into hysterics, yes, I’d only known this guy four ten minutes but he was already so easy to get on with, even if I did have the hint he was trying to hit on me.

 

“So how do you know he’s a better kisser?” I asked as he contained himself.

 

“No, no I’m a better kisser…not him,” He smiled while steeping closer towards me.

 

“I’m sure you are,” I smirked while watching his soft eyes roll, it was as if someone had painted them in with oil pastels, they were perfect.

 

I watched his expression wipe clean like a slate, and before I knew it his hand was placed on my hip and his lips were brushing against mine. I felt him tug on the corner of my shirt as he rolled his ruby dimes over mine, his tongue gently brushed against mine as I simply kissed him back, either way I couldn’t run I was pinned up against a wall like a poster. I hesitantly placed my hand on the small of his back and let my tongue explore the rims of his lips and beyond, he was right though he was a good kisser.

 

He gently grazed his lips away before placing one final last kiss on my porcelain smile, “Told you I was a better kisser,” He smiled while grabbing my cell out of my pocket.

 

I watched him slowly punch some of the keys with the brim of his thumb; he gently placed it back as if he had never touched it and with a cheeky smile he waved and walked off.

 

I quickly grabbed my cell out of my pocket and found the recent numbers menu, “I never kissed Alex,” I smirked as he halted his pace and let out a small laugh.

 

“Well now there’s a reason to,” He grinned while turning round to glance at me one last time, “Or you could meet me for coffee and just stick to my lips,” He said softly before waving his hand at me and hanging up the phone.

 

What the hell had just happened then? I had known the guy five minutes and he made out with me, and what’s weird is I actually felt normal kissing him, I didn’t feel like everyone was watching me…but then of course I had to see who was sat on the bench opposite the street from me.

“Wanna go get some coffee now?” Alex asked while pacing towards me, oh please do not say he’s going to come kiss my face off as well, I knew there was a reason I should have bought my lip balm with me.

You may notice that i reuse my characters cause at the end of the day i can't be bothered to make up new ones haha. Leave comment about what you think. Personally i love Elliot Minor if you've never heard of them check out their myspace: www.myspace.com/elliotminor they are pretty good tbf. Oh and something that cheered me up today going to see Fall Out Boy in october in Bham, its going to be amazinggggg xD

Leave a comment please i really wanna know what people think on this one :)

Oh and before i forget heres the video for 'time after time' which i based the story on so basically everything thats happening is kinda behind the scenes of the video shoot. The character Elspeth is not in the video btw xD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9ESNwLC7bE

Chapter Four: A decade under the influence

 

Elspeth’s POV

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I heard him ask again, the words hollow and dry, the amount of times they’d pierced my ears…they just seemed to sound like nothing.

 

“Yeah I’m fine,” I said blankly while staring at the opposite side of the bar.

 

“Quit lying Elspeth…you haven’t been fine since we were on the ferry this morning,” He said seriously, I stared at his hazel eyes and everything was a reminder of Brendon.

 

“No I haven’t,” I said vacantly, “I was delusional…thinking there was something there wasn’t but now I’m fine,” I said while taking a shot of tequila.

 

“Okay…” He said slowly while trailing off, I watched as his eyes flew to a certain blonde who was sat at the other end of the bar to us.

 

“Go get her number Pete,” I said while nudging him.

 

“Nah…she’s hot but she’d only give it me because I’m Pete freaking Wentz.” He smirked while finishing his beer.

 

“Well if I was her,” I slurred while taking any shot of tequila, “I’d give you my number because you’re cute,” I said honestly.

 

“Well,” He said with a small smile on his face, he knelt his head closer to mine and maintained eye contact, “That’s probably the best complement I’ve had all day,” He smirked while showing his glowing whites.

 

I couldn’t help but laugh and I gently placed my head on his shoulder as two familiar friends sat next to us at the bar.

 

“Hey guys,” Hayley said while stopping as she noted all the empty glasses surrounding us, “Jesus Elspeth, it’s only nine and you’ve already had five shots of tequila,” She groaned while perching on the bar stall next to me.

 

“Well I’ve had a bad day,” I sighed while feeling Pete caress my back with his warm hand.

 

“And what’s your excuse Mr. Wentz?” Spencer asked while sipping on his beer.

 

“Err…” He stuttered, “When in Rome,” He responded with a strong smile engulfing his face.

 

“Idiots…you two are going to feel it in the morning,” Hayley laughed while munching on some peanuts.

  

“Oh shut up,” I paused while grabbing Pete’s hand, “We’re going to his room so we can get wrecked without the alcohol police recording our every move,” I snarled while pulling Pete and his beer away from the bar.

 

“Bye then,” Spencer laughed as we walked towards the elevator.

 

I could hear Pete laughing in my ear as we entered the empty room. His minty breath wafted up my nostrils as he stood behind me and rested his head on my shoulder. I felt his hands roll under my tee and his warm fingers stroke the coldness of my skin.

 

“What are you doing?” I smirked while placing my cold hands onto his.

 

“We’re dancing to the elevator music,” He smirked while swaying to the music.

 

“Seriously…” I laughed while embracing this moment.

 

Maybe it was just nothing, another time where Pete has acted like an ass. But today, everything has been so jaded and surreal; things…moments like this were safe. And safe, safe is good. As the doors slowly slid themselves open we found ourselves on the top floor of the hotel, up here there was a perfect view of the city in all its bounty. I felt Pete’s soft fingers knot between mine as we walked down the long corridor. It was weird how in every hotel the corridors all looked the same, the pictures, chairs, wall paper; everything was a replica of itself. We halted outside Pete’s room, I couldn’t help but smile as he fumbled with the key card, we had not drunk that much.

 

“I almost got it,” He murmured while passing me his drink.

 

“Let me you fool,” I said with a quiet roll of the eyes, I slowly knelt down towards the door and placed the key card in its slot.

 

I stood up and smiled strongly at Pete as we stood in front of the doorway.

 

“I don’t get it you’ve had more than me,” I said while raising an eyebrow.

 

“It all comes with practice,” I laughed while grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room. He rolled his eyes and quietly closed the door behind him and threw his coat onto the bed.

 

“Who are you sharing with?” I asked while staring at the large double bed.

 

“I’m not, I hate sharing…to be fair though I am a shitty roommate,” He smirked while sitting down next to me on the couch.

 

I stared at the floor as he slurped down the last of his beer, maybe Spencer was right. Today, I remembered him and Pete having a conversation on romance and Seattle. Maybe it really was something they sprayed in the air. I stared at Pete and carefully noted the way his hair showed the outline of his cheek bone, and the way his eyes twinkled whenever he smiled. And most of all I noticed that whenever my eyes stared into his he made me feel like I was the only person alive. He slowly put his bottle down and moved his hand to my cheek, his finger tips were so hard from where he played bass, but they carried a silky smooth feeling. I smiled as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear, I briefly glanced out of the stare and my eyes drew to his perfectly sculptured lips, the intimacy was unbelievably alert, but it was only a stare. He slowly moved his hand to my knee and I watched as his lips collided closer to mine, I gently shut my eyes and my lips brushed against his, they were so much softer than they looked. He momentarily took his lips away and I pressed mine against his again, I felt his tongue brush against the rim of my mouth I met his with mine and I felt myself slowly move back onto the sofa where his hands explored the underneath of my tee. I smiled as I stared into his eyes; he returned it and moved his lips along my neck. For one second I thought of Brendon and the impulse was greater, I bought my lips to Pete’s again and kissed harder and more intense. Kissing away the pain…   

 

The next morning…

 

Ryan’s POV

 

My eyes slowly glazed over him, he’d been wound up since yesterday, he hadn’t even paid any interest in Coral, and this is where I know that something was up. I watched as he played with the zipper on his hoodie, maybe he was depressed, I mean touring can take its toll. No, Brendon wouldn’t be depressed he’d too strong for that.

 

“Yes Ryan?” He asked sarcastically while conscious to my gaze.

 

“Oh…sorry its nothing,” I sighed while slouching back in my seat on the bus.

 

I slowly sighed as the door swung open to reveal a very tired looking Pete and Elspeth. She slumped next to me and hung her head followed by Pete.

 

“And where were you last night? You never used your bed,” I asked while raising an eyebrow.

 

“Oh well I used a bed,” She paused while holding her head with her hand, “It just wasn’t used for sleeping,” She said with a devilish smile on her face.

 

“Elspeth too much information,” Pete groaned while grabbing a drink from the side.

 

I noticed his face was a slight shade of crimson as Brendon walked up to the kitchen counter to grab some Oreos.

 

“What are you two hiding?” I asked suspiciously.

 

“Well…” Elspeth stuttered while exchanging an odd look with Brendon, “Nothing…its nothing,” She said while playing with her hair, I watched Pete grab her arm and mutter something to her.

 

“Pete stop it,” She said with a huge grin in her face.

 

“Oh come on Elspeth,” Pete murmured while staring at me, “You can’t change the fact that we had sex last night,” He said with a small smirk.

 

“You what…!?” Brendon spat as he practically choked on the Oreo he had in his mouth. 

 

“Oh what do you care Brendon, apparently I’m just a jealous bitch,” Elspeth said coldly while walking off to her bunk down the bus.

 

“What was that all about?” I asked as Pete went after her.

 

“Nothing,” Brendon said while blankly staring into space, “I just wish she’d realize that the time’s wrong,” He said with an odd look on his face.

 

“And that means?” I asked.

 

“We need to get on with our lives the hard way,” He said while shoving some Oreos in his mouth and slumping next to me on the chair. 

 

Back from devon...finally, it was a tad shitty and i just found out i can't go see elliot minor in three weeks so review to cheer me up please.

Thanks for all so far :)

Chapter Two: Perfect World

 

“Land ho!” Spencer called as we set foot for the first time in 24 hours. We were currently on a tour and our next three shows had bought us to my favorite city, Seattle. There was something about the place, I loved the fact that it was surrounded by sea, and that it had adorable little ferry boats, and yeah it was like any other city but it seemed to stick out. I would always love to look out onto the horizon at the night time from my old apartment. It was quite far from the main city so you had the perfect view of the different colored lights from my front room. It was perfect. But times change, I was scared to let myself shine and it was here that I found my supposed self.

 

“I can run away from the twatty twins…finally!” Jon cried jokily, I laughed with him as he hooked hands with Izzie who was his rebound from Angel.

 

She didn’t realize it but me and the guys saw it crystal clearly.

 

“I’m not part of this ‘twatty twins’ label, just so you know, there is only one twin and that’s Spencer,” Ryan stated while folding his arms like a little kid.

 

“Well if that’s true then Spencer’s a cute twat,” Hayley smiled while kissing him softly on the cheek.

 

“Aww Ryan your cute when you pout, you’re so baby faced,” Elspeth cooed while catching up with my stride. I could feel her eyes piercing me, I turned to face her and bit my bottom lip.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked nervously.

 

“Yeah…” I said sharply while shoving my hands in my pockets, “Elspeth,” I paused softly, “What was this morning?” I asked nervously while watching the others grab their key cards.

 

“I...er…what do you mean?” She asked while raising an eyebrow.

 

“Well…last night we got drunk, and ended up sleeping…together…and it’s not the first time. But…” I paused and tried to clear the hard lump I always had in my throat when I was nervous, “This morning, it felt like you were…you were my…well as if we were more than just friends. Normally its alcohol that makes everything horny but I had none.” I bit my bottom lip and stared into her worried eyes.

 

“We didn’t do anything Brendon,” She smirked, “And to me it was no drunken mistake but after the alcohol it gets hard…I know you don’t love her, but there was alcohol and you wearing that hot shirt and it went from point to point,” She smirked while maintaining eye contact. “It was a dream and a dream that wasn’t real…and I can’t do a love song the way it’s meant to be.” She said finally, she smiled and wrapped her arms around me, “I’m sharing with Ryan so…I’ll see you later,” She said while bravely walking off. 

 

All that was left was that strong lavender smell, it oozed up my nostrils like it always would. Nothing compared to her, and every step was making the pain inside bleed a little more.

 

“Brendon!” I heard a voice cry from behind me.

 

I turned around and couldn’t help but smile as a familiar looking girl flew her arms around me. It was Coral, the girl I had confessed my love for only a few weeks ago. Her blonde hair was looking as bleached as ever, and her makeup was slapped on to hide all the imperfections that were never there. I knew she was a sham but it made me want to explore her, she was hiding so much and I had found out so little. I vowed after Audrey to never go for a girl like her but here I was stood holding what I was trying to avoid in the middle of Seattle.

 

“I missed you so much…your scent…your smile,” She paused and slowly bought her lip gloss covered lips towards mine. “And your kiss,” She said finally.

 

I smiled softly and hugged her. Her scent was a lot muskier than Elspeth, it wasn’t the smell I wanted, I loved Lavender and I loved Coral, supposedly, but misery likes company and for now it is me.

 

“Well say something,” Coral said sweetly into my shirt collar.

 

“Sorry I just haven’t seen you in a while…” I paused and stroked her short fringe, “I just wanna embrace you,” I smiled while pressing my forehead against hers.

 

“Aww so sweet,” She cooed while pressing her lips on mine again.

 

“Save it for the bedroom girl,” I laughed while grabbing her hand and heading towards the elevator.

 

“Or…the elevator like we did in Montréal,” She smirked while raising her eyebrows.

 

“It was 2am and we were drunk,” I laughed as the doors shut firm.

 

Elspeth’s POV

 

“So Ryan, what extra channels we got?” I asked as he flicked through the guide on the TV.

 

“Porn,” He said blankly with a small smile.

 

“Ryan,” I groaned while rolling my eyes, he smirked at me with his big brown eyes and it made me think of him.

 

I moved off the bed and jumped on the floor next to Ryan who was finding himself engulfed in Opra, seriously.

 

“It’s only a week,” He said while studying my expression I glanced at him and felt a tear form in the corner of my eye.

 

“What are you talking about?” I asked trying to hide my watery eyes.

 

“Brendon…being with Coral, she’s only here for a week then she’s away again for god knows how long,” He said with a reassuring smile, “In my opinion I think he should break up with her, she’s a selfish slut who is permently attached to his manhood,” Ryan said honestly.

 

“Seriously, too much information Rye,” I laughed while resting my head on his shoulder.

 

“Well it’s the truth…I think I preferred Audrey to her, at least she was nice to me,” He sighed while wrapping his arm around me.

 

“Yeah…she never liked me neither does Coral though,” I said honestly.

 

I watched Ryan’s careful eyes stare into mine, his skin tone was as radiant as ever, and he never let his hair go greasy so its silky locks fell from the side of his hat. He smiled nervously as I felt his hand brush against my cheek. The ends of his fingers were cold but yet the rest of his hand was warm from his soft gloves covering them. I could help but smile on how cute he was being…it was so surreal.

 

“Hey guys,” I heard Spencer call as he entered the room, without knocking as usual.

 

“Ever heard of knocking?” Ryan stated the obvious while releasing a small smile.

 

“Yeah it’s just my right hand is incapable of doing so,” Spencer smirked while sitting down next to me while soon followed by Hayley.

 

“What are you two up to anyway?” Hayley asked while stroking her blonde hair.

 

“Oh…just talking,” Ryan said smoothly, “And what do you two want?” He said in a mimicking tone.

 

“We got a bit tired of the ‘noises’ coming from Brendon’s room, seriously it’s not cute anymore it’s just disgusting,” Spencer said honestly, the thought of Brendon and her together made my stomach get sick. 

 

“It was never cute,” Ryan said coldly,” She’s a whore and he’s an idiot,” He added firmly.

 

“Dude…” Spencer said blankly.

 

“We’re really bad friends,” I smirked while exchanging a smile with Hayley.

“Oh yeah,” She said smoothly.

We all sat there in silence apart from the sounds of the sirens running in the Seattle suburbs. I could feel the tenseness, the variation of our lives, as if everything was running in slow motion I watched the door open, and there he was. No it wasn’t Brendon Urie but the guy that had introduced me to him, Pete Wentz.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Three: The Sky Is Falling

Elspeth’s POV

 

The horn echoed through the horizon, sending shimmers on diversity to the setting, I felt his hand move towards my zipper.

 

“Seriously Elspeth it’s the middle of January and you don’t even have your hoodie done up,” Pete said softly, I watched as he gently did up my hoodie.

 

Something was up he had been the sweetest since we had got here, site seeing wasn’t something we’d normally do on a tour. Even so, Pete was still acting weird.

 

“Since when have you liked Seattle?” I asked as he walked alongside the railing.

 

“I don’t know…it seems more,” He paused while trying to balance himself on a part of the railing, “It seems more homely…probably that it’s the fifth time this year I’ve been here, I love the place it’s so beckoning,” He said honestly flashing his pearly whites.

 

“It’s not beckoning,” Spencer butted in, “It’s romantic, I reckon it’s something they spray in the air,” He said dumb wittingly.

 

“Oh fuck off Spencer,” I snarled while letting Pete use me as a balancing post.

 

“Oh you got told Spencer,” Brendon laughed while walking down the dusty path towards a bench.

 

I couldn’t help but stare as Coral slumped next to him like a fashion accessory, which she practically was. Everything inch of her plastered in foundation, and who wears hot pants in January?

 

“You know I think we should go ice skating, you know with the day off and everything, and it means we can take the ferry, I love ferry boats,” Pete smirked while exchanging glances of excitement with Patrick and Jon.

 

“I don’t know guys,” Ryan said with a worried look on his face, “I mean what if one of us falls over and breaks something?” He said while staring at his shoes.

 

“You’ve never skated before have you?” Hayley asked caringly.

 

“Maybe not…” He said sheepishly.

 

“Aww…don’t worry its easy and everyone falls over so don’t worry about looking like an ass,” She smiled reassuringly.

 

“Yeah it just comes naturally for you Ryan, being an ass that is,” Brendon mocked while placing a kiss along Coral’s neck.

 

“Don’t listen to him,” I said while wrapping my arms around Ryan, “He’s been acting like an ass since Mc Fake got here.” I smirked while resting my head on his chest.

 

“Excuse me?” I heard a sharp voice call from a distance.

 

“Oh nothing,” I said hastily, I heard a laugh come from Pete whose hand was still on my shoulder, he jumped and joined the hug that me and Ryan had going.

 

“Yeah nothing at all,” He said sarcastically.

 

I watched a small grin form on Ryan’s face as he pulled away from the hug.

 

“Ice skating then?” He asked while raising an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah,” Spencer smiled while butting in.

 

“I guess we better go catch the ferry then,” Hayley ushered while walking down the path with the guys.

 

I watched as Brendon slowly pulled Coral up off the bench, I could tell he knew that I was staring at him. It was as if I had a gun to his head, his lips quivered as Coral caught up with Jon, and he was the only one stupid enough to actually like her. I titled my head as Brendon slowly shoved his hands in his pockets, his hollow brown eyes clicked with mine, and for some reason a part of me was hurting.

 

I felt a hand graze against the small of my back, “Come on, you can sort things out with him later,” Pete whispered in my ear.

 

I bit my bottom lip and slowly walked down the path with Pete’s hand still comforting me, we walked past him as if he was just a statue. Naivety that was one thing I was not going to lose myself to.

  

On the ferry…

 

“I’m flying,” Spencer laughed as he balanced himself on the railings on the front of the ferry.

 

“Idiot,” Pete smirked while slouching back in his seat next to me.

 

The taste of salt wafted through the cracks in my teeth as I smiled at Spencer.

 

“It’s weird you know,” Pete said out of the blue.

 

“What’s weird?” I asked while staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

 

“Whenever we seem to go out in public Spencer acts like an ass,” He smirked while watching the look on Spencer’s face change.

 

“I heard that you wanker,” He retaliated.

 

“Oh burn,” I laughed while watching Pete jump to his feet and run into Spencer’s direction.

 

The Seattle horizon was getting closer upon us as the boat chugged a little closer second by second. I heard footsteps trail towards the bench I was perched on, they gradually stopped next to me, and twice that day my eyes met his. His stare was so intense, the thousands of shades of brown he had was perfectly sculpted into that oaky stare he carried. I watched as he bit his lip and sat next to me, his thigh brushed against mine as his lips were only inches from me.

 

“Where’s…Coral?” I asked bitterly.

 

“She’s gone to use the rest room…” He said dryly, his tone quivered as he carefully placed his hand in mine making sure no one saw, “You know I can’t,” He paused, “And she’s not fake, you just don’t give her a chance,” He said seriously, I glanced out of his stare and lowered my eyebrows.

 

“You know…you,” I paused and tried to hold back the tears I could feel building, “I don’t care Brendon,” I pulled away my hand, “When I see you with her it makes me feel sick, stop pulling me in, and stop pretending to care,” I said while hastily stumbling to my feet.

 

“Is everything okay Elspeth?” Pete called as he wrapped his arm around me again.

 

“Pete could you just,” Brendon paused and stood so he was facing us, “Please could you just go away a second?” He asked while biting his lip firmly.

 

I watched as Pete’s eyes slowly dropped, there was such a tense stink in the air. I felt my eyes burn as Brendon lowered his eyebrows and stared at me again. The look, it was the same one as the first day I had met him, shy…with a hint of familiarity. Intimidation…that was the only thing being let off by Pete, but he always would act like a shield to me, even if I didn’t ask to.

 

“Pete…maybe now just isn’t a great time,” I said while wiping my nothing but dry eyes.

 

“Are you sure?” He whispered carefully in my ear.

 

“I think so,” I said while feeling him slowly taking his hands from off me, I could still feel his safe touch burning off my hoodie.

 

“I’m not pretending Elspeth…” Brendon said solemnly while watching Pete join the others in the conversation they had going.

 

“Oh really…?” I said sarcastically while leaning against the railings.

 

“Yeah,” He said simply while gaining a few steps towards me, “You’re my best friend…and I expect you to support me on this,” He sighed.

 

“Brendon I am not supporting you to be trapped by someone like her,” I said coldly, “She…she’s just not right for you, and whenever she’s around you’re a completely different guy.” I took a deep breath and stared hard into his eyes, “You act like an ass…you’re so arrogant and ugh…but when you’re with me your sweet, deep and sensitive. You are that Brendon she’s just alienating you into every rock stars nightmare. Get a mirror and seriously look at what you’re sacrificing, it really might surprise you.” I said honestly. In silence I watched as his lip quivered, something wanted to be let out, but still, that eerie silence lay over the delay.

 

His eyebrows lowered as he shook his ever growing fringe to the side of his head, “You’re just jealous of her,” He said bitterly, “She is everything I want because she’s everything I’m not…and you won’t ever see that because all you do is act like a jealous bitch,” He spat.

I felt my stomach roll and tears pierce the corners of my eyelids as his eyes burnt a cold stare. “You heartless bastard,” I forced while walking away.

Inside the pit of my stomach I had never felt this pain before, it was as if someone had ripped out my heart and thrown to the dogs. I never thought I’d see the day he’d say something like that, he was like all the other guys, and all he was giving me was misery.

Thankyou for reading so far :) I decided to post two chapters in one since i am going away tomorow for a couple of days, so the next update will be friday. Leave me nice things, your thoughts and comments always make me smile xD

Notes from the past

 

 

Chapter One: Forgetting You

 

I love the smell of Lavender.

 

That smell, her smell, it wafted up my nostrils as the bus slowly rolled along the road. My eyes slowly opened and revealed her calm composure. Her skin was a perfect shade of pink, her hair was a soft shadow of caramel elegance, and everything about her was perfect. The sun crept through the crimson curtains ever so slightly, letting some light enter the cabin. It was small, but it was my home, at least for the next two months. I liked it; I liked the crimson curtains, and most of all I liked mornings like this. Again I stared down at her, she moved faintly; I felt her soft fingers roll over my stomach, her gentle touch still burned from where she had moved her hand from. I stroked the small of her back as I tried to go back to serenity; all that could be heard throughout the bus was the moving of my band mates. 

 

“Spencer you jackass I wanted the lucky charms!” I heard a voice cry, my eyes shut firm as I tilted my head towards hers to try and sleep some more.

 

“Go check in the cupboard Ryan, what are you bone idol?” I heard Spencer retaliate. I just wanted their bickering to be a distance murmur.

 

For one I wanted to get some sleep since it was only 6am, and for two I wanted this moment to last forever. I shut my eyes firm for a third time, I let my breathing control again, and it was all a distance memory. It was just me and her, and that smell of lavender.

 

“Brendon…” I heard her murmur while titling her head a little. I looked down and smiled softly at her half conscious composure.

 

“Who needs a wakeup call when you have those two idiots?” I smiled while gently tapping her nose.

 

“I don’t know…surprised Jon hasn’t started shouting at th-“

 

“Can you two fuckers shut up?” I heard Jon shout from the opposite end of the bus.

 

“Looks like I spoke to soon,” She smirked while raising her hand to her head, “Ugh, how much did we drink last night?” She sighed.

 

“A lot…at least you did anyway,” I sighed while wrapping my other arm around her. I buried my head into her shoulder and I noticed her eyes travel along my body, “What?” I smirked while flashing my pearly whites.

 

“Nothing it’s just…” She paused and stared into my eyes, “I am lay your bed, they’re outside fighting over breakfast cereal…and you’re so…” She paused.

 

“So…” I nudged.

 

“So…calm, isn’t any of this a little bizarre to you?” She asked while stroking her lacy hair.

 

“Well the whole you having here a conversation with me, but the bed part no, that’s normal,” I smirked.

 

“Brendon!” She gasped while gently hitting my chest.

 

“Sorry,” I laughed, “But the whole guys fighting over cereal that’s pretty normal.” I added while glancing into her eyes.

 

“Yo Brendon,” A voice called along the corridor I could hear their first steps getting closer as my breathing quickened.

 

“Crap…” I heard her murmur from beside me.

 

“Err…” I stuttered, “Get under the covers,” I said while gritting my teeth.

 

The crimson curtains pulled open as if on key, I watched as Spencer popped his unbrushed head from around the door, “Have you got a box of lucky charms stashed away? Ryan’s having a paddy because I ate them,” He sighed while staring oddly at the lump in my bed.

 

“Yeah we heard,” I sighed.

 

“What do you mean we?” He asked while raising an eyebrow.

 

“I…err...I mean me, sorry I think I still have the alcohol in my system,” I said hurriedly.

 

“Okay…” He snarled, “Anyway do you have any?” He asked.

 

“You’re very persistent and the answers no,” I smirked while watching his ocean eyes roll.

 

“Damn you Urie, by the way have you seen Elspeth this morning?” He asked curiously.

   

“No…” I said slowly, “She must still be sleeping just don’t wake her like you woke me,” I said trying to sound mad.

 

“Okay sorry about that,” He sighed while throwing the curtain back along the rail, so now the cabin was vaguely dark again.

 

I sighed softly as Elspeth reappeared from the covers.

 

“No you definitely have not seen me this morning,” She smirked while playing with the zipper on her hoodie.

 

“Yeah,” I laughed while pulling her closer towards me, “You know we’re very sly,” I smirked.

 

She smiled and slowly rolled on top of me, “Yeah it’s what I do best,” She said while raising her eyebrows, I returned the gesture and again like last night I got lost in her eyes.

 

“Could you go stall them while I creep back into my cabin?” She asked while pouting her lip.

 

“If I must…remember to not to fall out of the cabin again,” I laughed while embracing her for a final time, she smiled at me and we lay there in silence.

 

This tranquility, this silence, I only ever got when I stared into her ocean blue eyes, I could search the sea for miles, and they were beautiful. I slowly stroked her soft hair before she rolled off me and I jumped out the bed.

 

“Morning Brendon,” Jon called from the end of the bus as I closed the curtain, “Nice tartan PJ bottoms…such a shame their bickering didn’t wake you this morning,” He said while rolling his eyes.

 

“It’s routine Jon,” I smirked while walking up the bus towards the kitchen area, “I just try and block it out at 6am…and you shout it out instead,” I said while casually slumping next to him.

 

“Yeah well the twatty twins manage to do it every morning,” He groaned while slugging down his coffee. I laughed as both Spencer and Ryan exchanged looks of blame on each other.

 

“Where are all the ladies this morning?” Spencer asked trying to change the subject.

 

“Don’t know,” Ryan said with a mouthful of toast.

 

“My guess is that Hayley, Izzie and Elspeth are all still in bed,” Jon said while stating the obvious.

 

“Together?” Ryan said a little too loudly.

 

“No you dumbass,” Jon and I said unison.

 

“Oh…” He replied blankly while taking another bite from his toast.

 

I exchanged looks of disbelief with Jon as the bus was eerily silent. I watched the silence shatter as my phone screamed on the table, I grabbed for it and read the screen; ‘Missed calls: Coral...<3’

 

“Crap…” I muttered under my breath.

 

“Aren’t she and you meant to be meeting up in Seattle tomorrow?” Jon asked while reading the screen over my shoulder.

 

“Yeah…” I said blankly while switching my ifone onto silent.   

  

“Trouble in paradise,” Spencer muttered while switching the TV on.

 

“Shut up I heard that,” I groaned while throwing a pillow at his head, “Direct hit,” I laughed.

 

“What was that all about?” I heard Elspeth ask as her and Hayley walked into the kitchen area, it was funny how girls could never go somewhere on their own.

 

“Oh lover-boys getting all pre-Madonna because I keep piss taking his girlfriend,” Spencer laughed while flicking on freaking Pokémon.

 

I watched Elspeth’s expression drop as she sat next to me, I slowly placed my head on her shoulder and forced a reassuring smile. I watched as Ryan gave out a small smile, he knew the truth; he knew why I wasn’t happy with Coral. Yeah it was all well good saying to break up with her but things weren’t as easy as that, they never were.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read. I wrote this about six months ago but never got round to posting. What do you think?

Just leave a comment that'd be really sweet =].

Forgetting You - Elliot Minor If you want it then message me and i can email it you, it kinda links with this chap :)

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