Sillyperson's Journals

Fanfic News

Okay so really recently i've been a bit mean with my postings but there is a reason

Basically i wrote 'Notes From The Past' in january when i got a new computer which had vista therefore i had no internet access since vista is wierd like that. But i haven't actually written anymore for months. And here we are in august.

So now i have two case studies and an art project to do...all due in in three weeks

So i do apologise if i dont update until september time. It is honestly not my fault but at the end of the day its my last year or school now and i'm gonna have shitloads of coursework to do so blame my stupid school : D

I may post some of my other stories, panic of course, and i have one elliot minor one in the works, and a CSI:NY one in the works too but idk cause of course im not gonna be that mean and not put anything up for a month :L

But yeah

Also

I won't be on here much either cause half the time it doesnt load sooo add me on myspace i use that alot and yeah :)

www.myspace.com/_musik_addict_

Thankyou for your patience kinda people :)

xox

This Isn't Fair :(

Gahhh

I was meant to be going to a gig tonight but now my parents won't let me go :(

"But your going to see fall out boy in october" I quote, thats a whole erm threeish months away?!

Right now i'd much rather be down in weston waiting for my heroes. Although i do kinda feel bad for them cause there isn't anything to do in Weston now since the peir burnt down, it did kinda have all the rides and everything on it. Kinda sad really but they're rebuilding it xD

But yeah i wannaaaa goooo seeee ELLIOT MINOR

Hmmm i could get my auntie to drive me down and i could buy a ticket on the door!? But if i went now i wouldn't get front row lol

Gah now i am ever more determined to go and see them in November, its my birthday too so ever more reason to go : )

It's be nice if panic came back over here too but i don't really see that happening really...not with the whole rockband tour. Tbf it would be ten times better if it was guitar hero, now that game pwns rockbands ass.

I'm not obsessed...

This Isn't Fair :(

Gahhh

I was meant to be going to a gig tonight but now my parents won't let me go :(

"But your going to see fall out boy in october" I quote, thats a whole erm threeish months away?!

But yeah i wannaaaa goooo seeee ELLIOT MINOR

Hmmm i could get my auntie to drive me down and i could buy a ticket on the door!? But if i went now i wouldn't get front row lol

Gah now i am ever more determined to go and see them in November, its my birthday too so ever more reason to go : )

I'm not obsessed...

~Notes From The Past 8~

Chapter Eight: Perfect

Brendonâ�™s POV

The baseline pulsed through the room, I knocked back the contents of my glass and it was already my second helping. Strange looks were occasionally passed between me and the others as I knelt against the wall glaring at her, the bitch who had stolen my dignity. I watched Hayley and Elspeth share a murmur as a porcelain hand pointed in my direction. With a gentle roll my hollow hazel eyes fell upon Coral who had her lips attached to Peteâ�™s. Just looking at her made me feel sick, I needed to regain my composure, I needed to regain mid controlâ�¦I needed some air. I felt my feet walking on autopilot outside to the empty balcony. I stared at the hazy horizon while curling my hands around the metal framing. I heard footsteps trailing where mine had been before, they stopped a few inches away from mine, just enough to get a waft of his scent.

â�œIâ�™m fine you know,â� I informed as he knelt on the balcony next to me.

â�œOh reallyâ�¦?â� He sighed sarcastically, â�œBecause I know a lot of people that will disagree there,â� He remarked while letting his hazel eyes roll.

â�œYeah well they donâ�™t know whatâ�™s going through my mindâ�¦â� I sighed while rolling my hand over my face and staring at the half shaped moon in the sky.

The light from it made my eyes sting, more than theyâ�™d stung today, everything was irrelevant as I just concentrated on the past. I knew that Coral was never going to go right, but I never anticipated it ending like this, sheâ�™d taken my heart and torn it in two...

â�œYou know whatâ�™s funnyâ�¦?â� I muttered hesitantly.

â�œWhat?â� Ryan asked while trailing his fingers over the pattern on the metal bar.

â�œI need toâ�¦beâ�¦well I need to toughen up. I mean Coral tossed meâ�¦Audrey did, and so did Elspeth, goes to show that I need to sort something out,â� I confessed while watching his expression drop, I could tense that he knew what to say but yet he was reluctant to say it.

â�œBrendonâ�¦ you need to stop letting girls walk all over you,â� He paused while sharpening his stare at me, â�œI mean I know normally you donâ�™t moan about itâ�¦infactâ�¦you barely show any emotion whatsoever,â� He preached honestly.

I felt like the night had stolen my voice as I nodded hesitantly at him, â�œWell Iâ�™m notâ�¦â� I paused while thinking through the right words in my head, â�œIâ�™m not the kind of person to dwell on the â�˜ifsâ�™ and â�˜butsâ�™â�¦â� I sighed while feeling my heart numb in my chest.

â�œWanna know somethingâ�¦?â� I murmured nervously.

â�œGo for it buddy,â� He smiled warmly, I sighed and stared into the stars they were almost comforting.

â�œWhen we were into drugsâ�¦I never understood how I felt for herâ�¦â� I paused while watching his face mutter confusion.

â�œElspethâ�¦?â� He asked quietly.

â�œYeahâ�¦â� I trailed off while feeling my eyes pierce a tear, â�œThey took me overâ�¦when I saw her with Pete that day, when they were kissing in the bar, it made me realizeâ�¦I donâ�™t knowâ�¦the penny dropped I guess,â� I sighed while watching him sit on one of the chairs accompanied by a beer bottle. â�œIt was likeâ�¦when I finally got off them, the drugs that is, I saw her in a different light, like when we first met, and I realized I loved herâ�¦Thatâ�™s why I donâ�™t dwell on the past because that numbing feeling returns that haunted me when the penny dropped,â� I sighed while curling my back so he couldnâ�™t see my current composure.

â�œLovedâ�¦?â� He asked after a long period of eerie silence that was trailed along with the wind.

â�œIâ�¦-â�œI paused as Hayley and Spencer walked onto the balcony.

â�œWhatâ�™s up guysâ�¦?â� Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow.

â�œAh nothingâ�¦â� Ryan covered up while passing me a bottle of vodka.

â�œOkayâ�¦â� Hayley sighed blankly while staggering back into the apartment.

â�œIs she pissed?â� Ryan asked while finishing his beer.

â�œI think so,â� Spencer smirked as he watched Ryan follow her; probably to get more beer he was shedding those bottles like skin.

â�œAre you sure you wanna be drinking thatâ�¦?â� Spencer asked as I turned round to face him with the vodka bottle attached to my lips.

â�œIâ�™m always sure,â� I smirked as he returned the smile, I could tell he was being genuine, he hardly ever drunk, Hayley on the other handâ�¦well she most certainly did.

â�œSpencerâ�¦!â� She cried as she pounded back onto the balcony with Elspeth in tow. â�œI want some sex lets go back to the bus,â� She slurred honestly.

I couldnâ�™t help but laugh as his cheeks flushed a bloody red, â�œYou donâ�™t wanna let your woman down Spence,â� I taunted as he groaned, her arms hastily pulled him off the balcony so it was just me and Elspeth.

â�œVodkaâ�¦?â� I asked with a strong smile, she nodded almost on impulse and slugged down the liquid, â�œOh so lady like,â� I smirked as she raised her middle finger at me.

â�œWhat were you and Spencer talking aboutâ�¦?â� She asked while handing me back the bottle.

â�œOh nothingâ�¦â� I said hastily with a small smile to try and avoid confrontation, â�œIâ�™m gonna head back to the bus,â� I murmured while gently biting my lip.

As I slowly let my feet carry me on autopilot I felt her hand grasp tightly in mine. â�œWas it really nothingâ�¦?â� She asked half seriously as the Vodka was already kicking in.

â�œErrâ�¦â� I paused and glanced into her ocean blue eyes, â�œYeah it wasâ�¦nothing,â� I sighed while loosening her gentle gripâ�¦

I sighed while trailing my fingers round the rim of my coffee cup it was dark as the bus lay still in the car park. I heard giggling come from the bunks, slouching deeper into my seat I just wanted it to swallow me up. I waited alone at the back of the bus, coffee keeping me awake and the anger pushing me over. I watched as Ryan joined me in the back of the bus, a vodka bottle half empty in one hand and the other shoved in his pocket.

â�œWhatâ�™s up Grumpy guts?â� He smirked while swigging down more vodka.

â�œNothingâ�¦it would be pointless telling you also as you wonâ�™t remember a thing tomorrow,â� I smirked while watching his face turn to confusion.

â�œWhat are we talking about?â� He asked dazedly.

â�œNothingâ�¦â� I sighed while knocking back my coffee, â�œWhen you were in your last relationshipâ�¦how long did it take for the warm feeling inside to go awayâ�¦?â� I asked quietly so only he could here.

â�œWarm feelingâ�¦â� He slurred while pouring vodka accidently down his stripped pants, â�œAhâ�¦not long,â� He shrugged casually, â�œThis stuff helped though,â� He laughed while throwing the other bottle of vodka at me.

I sighed and stared at the crystal clear water with a shrug the bottle was attached to my lips and quarter was gone. I exhaled deeply as the burning sensation crept down my throat, I hated vodka.

â�œNow, nowâ�¦underage drinking is wrong,â� Ryan smirked while lying down on the other sofa, â�œI shouldnâ�™t allow it,â� He slurred as seriously as the fluid would let him.

â�œOh what you gonna doâ�¦?â� I laughed while slugging down some more.

â�œIâ�™m gonnaâ�¦â� He paused while rolling off the sofa and hard on to the floor, â�œThat hurt,â� He laughed while staring at the ceiling.

â�œYou know I never noticed how blue this floor is,â� He smeared while rolling his fingers over the plush carpet, over the odd stain, looked like wine but it was probably blood.

â�œIâ�¦â� I paused while finishing the bottle, â�œIâ�™m going to bed,â� I muttered while staggering to my feet.

The world seemed to shift as my balance tipped off slightly, I heard Ryan laugh randomly in the background as I drifted to my bed, and I rolled my fingers over the wooden plank above the bed itself. â�œItâ�™s got wood,â� I murmured while noticing in the corner of my eye a curtain open.

â�œBrendon what the hell are you doingâ�¦?â� Elspeth asked while staring at me.

â�œI got wood,â� I slurred while watching her eyes widen, â�œNoâ�¦!â� I cried hastily while watching Ryan slur at me.

â�œIf you got wood then you have a very small penis,â� He remarked with a laugh as Elspeth pulled me into the bed.

My head hit the softness of her pillow as I made myself comfortable; her beautiful smell crept up my nostrils as I half shut my eyes.

â�œYou smell good,â� I slurred while feeling a smile form on my lips; I watched her move and rest her body upon her elbows.

â�œYou are most certainly drunk,â� She laughed while letting her pearls for eyes twinkle.

â�œIâ�™m not lyingâ�¦I love your smellâ�¦itâ�™sâ�¦sexy,â� I laughed as I murmured the last word.

She smiled softly at me as I ran my fingers through my hair and let it flow in front of my eyes.

â�œWant the restâ�¦?â� I asked as I showed her half a bottle of vodka I had grabbed off Ryan when his ass found the floor.

She shrugged and downed it, I watched breathlessly as she groaned and rested her body flat on the bed next to me. I rolled onto my side rested my upper body weight with my elbows.

â�œIâ�™m such a fucking bitch Brendon,â� She said suddenly as her eyes reddened, â�œI meanâ�¦â� She paused as I titled my head to the side, â�œHow can you even talk to me afterâ�¦â�

â�œBecause youâ�™re lovely,â� I smirked while rolling my fingers over her fringe and uncovering her topaz blue eyes, â�œYou donâ�™t understandâ�¦I let you down, I let you slip away, I gave inâ�¦every night I have spent with you when Coral wasnâ�™t there made me regret every second. You made me fall to my feet just by saying my name, you made me do the right things maybe not at the right times but they were thereâ�¦â� I stammered while watching her stare confused at me.

â�œBrendonâ�¦what are you saying?â� She asked while inching closer towards me.

â�œIâ�™m sayingâ�¦Iâ�™m sorry I canâ�™t be perfect, Iâ�™m sorry that I can be an ass, and Iâ�™m sorry that Pete is right,â� I slurred while watching her lips quiver.

â�œRight about whatâ�¦?â� She asked nervously, I sighed while glancing out of the stare a second. I returned while bringing my lips closer towards hersâ�¦

Bwhahaha cliff hanger? YES XD

Sorry about the lack of updates i've been addicted to the sims 2, and also been busy sleeping and all that jazz :D

But while im here I SPOKE TO ELLIOT MINOR ON THE PHONE!! Yes :D

Who are they? They are amazing :) www.myspace.com/elliotminor

Go check them out, tell me what you think :)

~Notes From The Past 7~

Chapter Seven: Donâ�™t pretend

Brendonâ�™s POV

Slow motion, it was how my world seemed to be running right now. All morning heâ�™d been slyly glancing at my expression. I hadnâ�™t bothered to change it since I saw my ex-girlfriend climbing out of his bunk at 6am. I had given up on pretending to care; I had battled into everyone who had insulted her, only to get it thrown back in my face. I felt someone jump onto the sofa next to me, her smell oozed up my nostrils as she slouched deep into the seat.

â�œCheer up,â� She said happily. I stared deep into her eyes and got lost in the millions of pixels of blue she carried.

â�œWhat is the attraction to him? I mean you slept with him, she didâ�¦â� I asked while lowering my eyebrows.

â�œBrendon,â� She said firmly, â�œI was drunk when I slept with himâ�¦and more to the point it was moreâ�¦of like I was pissed off and I needed someone to take that away.â� She muttered honestly.

I lowered my eyebrows and glared at him and her; they had been all over each other since they had woken up.

â�œHow the fuck could she had loved me? I meanâ�¦â� I paused and slowly patted down my hair, â�œHow am I supposed to trust someone now?â� I sighed while holding my head with my hands.

â�œBrendonâ�¦â� Elspeth said again, â�œShe threw a bucket at your head, sheâ�¦you donâ�™t need her,â� She said soothingly in my ear.

I bit my bottom lip and brought my head closer to hers, I could feel her hot breath in my ear, and it was like a drug, being with her, everything else melted away.

â�œYou know itâ�™s almost as if the bus is split in two,â� Spencer smirked as he sat on his bed.

â�œSay what?â� I asked while half opening my eyes and facing him.

â�œWell we have you up this end and Mc Whore face at the otherâ�¦I heard the whole bucket thing last night sounded painful.â� He said with a small smirk, â�œBut you have to admit your half asleep argument was funny,â� He added while pulling his PSP out of his coat pocket.

â�œSpencer weirdly enough I didnâ�™t find it funny,â� I said with a quiet roll of the eyes.

I watched his expression drop as he lay down on his bed; while I slowly melted into the chair and shut my eyes. When I was kid I always dreamt of finding the right girl, crazy as it sounds I had actually given up before Coralâ�¦as I had already found the one. I vowed when I first met Coral that I wouldnâ�™t let her scratch the surface too deep before I had figured her out. In a perfect world I never would have got with her, and none of the memories of the last two days would existâ�¦but you canâ�™t mess with fate.

I gently forced my eyes open as the bus came to a sudden halt, â�œWhy arenâ�™t we moving?â� I heard Ryan call from one of the bunks.

â�œBecause weâ�™re here,â� I muttered while walking to the front of the bus, â�œRight?â� I asked Hayley as I stopped next to her at the front of the bus.

â�œYeahâ�¦Viva Las Vegas,â� She smirked while jumping off the bus.

I deeply inhaled the fresh air, such a relief after being cooped up in that bus with them watching my every move like freaking vultures.

â�œLast showâ�¦thatâ�™s good,â� Ryan yawned while stretching his arms above his head, â�œIsnâ�™t there that party tonight Pete?â� Ryan asked as he walked off the bus.

â�œWhy yes there is,â� Pete smirked while glancing in my direction.

â�œJust another excuse for you to check for lumps,â� I mumbled while walking off towards the hotel.

â�œBrendon!â� I heard Pete call as his feet thudded towards me.

â�œWhat?â� I snapped while turning round to face him, I could feel my muscles tensing as I lowered my eyebrows and stared at his worried face.

â�œWhatâ�™s your problem dude?â� He asked while raising his eyebrow.

â�œI canâ�™t believe your actually asking me this you asshole,â� I said coldly while watching the others just stare at us nervously. â�œYour fucking unbelievable, you first of all ask me if itâ�™s okay to date Elspethâ�¦then literally six hours later you fuck my ex-girlfriend,â� I sighed while glaring into his eyes, â�œDo you not have any recognition for anyone elseâ�™s feelings besides your own?â� I spat coldly.

I watched his lip quiver as his eyebrows lowered, over the horizon I watched carefully as a fake shape made its way towards us.

â�œIâ�™ve done you a favor Brendon,â� Pete said finally while stepping closer towards.

â�œNo,â� I said hastily while throwing out my hand, I took a few steps back, â�œDonâ�™t come anywhere near me,â� I said mercilessly, â�œTrust me you have not done me any favors,â� I added while feeling my fist clench.

â�œYou call me an asshole?â� Pete cried, â�œYouâ�™re the asshole, and yeah I have done you a favor because everyone knows youâ�™re in love with Elspeth at least now you can finally admit it to yourself!â� He cried seriously.

â�œWhat the fuck?â� I spat while watching Spencer run over to the two of us, â�œThat was a very long time ago Pete and do you remember you managed to fuck that up to?â� I spat as Spencer grabbed my shirt and started to pull me towards the hotel.

â�œSpencer,â� I said blankly as he let go of me.

I swallowed my gut as Coral walked towards me, her eyeliner thick and heavy and her scowl washing across her strawberry lips, â�œAnd what the hell do you want?â� I slurred while facing her smug face.

â�œGet a fucking life Brendon,â� She smirked coldly.

â�œYouâ�™re the one that finds pleasure from throwing buckets about, or were you having too much fun having sex as I passed out in my bed for you to remember?â� I said coldly as her smug composure fell and she stepped toward me.

â�œWhy the hell are you blaming me for this, youâ�™re the one that put himself through the misery of just watching from the sidelines,â� She whispered heartlessly.

â�œWhat?â� I said simply.

â�œCome on Brendon weâ�™re going,â� Spencer said hastily.

â�œNoâ�¦let her tell her little speech,â� I said sharply as a smug stare appeared over her face.

â�œEvery night when I was away you lay there watching her, gagging for her, ever since you two broke it off a year ago; I bet even when we were having sex you were fantasizing. Youâ�™re pathetic,â� She said coldly while turning round and walking towards Pete.

I felt Spencer grab my arm and pull me towards the hotel, â�œAre you okay?â� He asked me as I concentrated on the floor.

â�œIâ�™m fine,â� I said blankly, I could feel my heart numbing softly in my chest, every thought that pierced my mind scolded my eyes.

â�œYouâ�™re not fine,â� He said while picking up both of our keycards.

â�œI just feel empty,â� I said blankly as his cautious eyes glanced into mine, â�œIf it wasnâ�™t for him I wouldnâ�™t be in this mess, he broke me and her up,â� I said while feeling my stomach twist a little more.

â�œNoâ�¦she broke you up when she threw a bucket at you,â� He replied with a casual smirk as we walked towards the elevator.

â�œErr yeah,â� I said quickly while pushing in the button into the wall, it felt like we were talking about two different things, he probably didnâ�™t realize it but I knew.

I knelt against the wall and stared into the hollow door frame, everything just melted into prospective as I noticed two familiar faces mould into the setting. I heard the elevator doors shudder open as the contents flew out like a flock of doves.

â�œYou know I might get the next one,â� I suggested while curling my fingers around my door key.

â�œOkay Iâ�™ll come and knock for you in about an hour,â� He smiled while placing himself in the center of the elevator.

â�œYeah,â� I said in unison of the doors closing.

I slowly shut my eyes and waited for the other elevator to arrive, I always had a thing for the right, didnâ�™t know why it was just another one of those things. I could tense someoneâ�™s present gaining towards me like a bullet from a gun, I slowly opened my eyes, and her eyes glanced into mine. I heard the doors open from the side of me; I slowly looked at her one last time as the people flocked out again. She leant against the desk and tilted her head as I placed myself in the center of the elevator like Spencer had done minutes before, I glanced into her ocean blue eyes and then drew my head to the floor as the elevator doors slammed shut.

Sorry about the delay...im getting kinda lazy at updating :P

~Notes From The Past 6.~

Chapter Six: Under the gun

Brendonâ�™s POV

â�œYou know who needs TV when you have that entertainment like that,â� Ryan smirked while passing me a wet flannel.

â�œSeriously shut the f-â�œI paused and tried to regain my vision, â�œLook if I feltâ�¦okayâ�¦then maybe Iâ�™d have a go so just shut up.â� I sighed while looking at all the blood on my flannel.

â�œJesus, she really must have dropped that bucket from some height to get that effect,â� He snarled while applying pressure to my forehead.

â�œYeah,â� I said while clenching my jaw.

â�œSorry,â� Ryan said weakly, â�œDoes this mean thatâ�¦you and Coral are-â�œ

â�œWhat over? Yes sheâ�™s gone and I donâ�™t want to see her ever again,â� I groaned while grabbing the flannel off him.

I watched Elspeth walk into the dim lighted room and raise an eyebrow. I quickly looked down, I hated people seeing me in pain, and ever since Iâ�™d got knocked out at reading it had pushed my pain barrier down a lot.

â�œWhat happened to you?â� She asked caringly, I nervously took the flannel off my head as Ryan ushered himself out of the room.

â�œYour seriously,â� I clenched my jaw a second as I applied some more pressure on my cut, â�œYour telling me you didnâ�™t hear my little spat with Coral?â� I said with a weak smile.

â�œNo I had my headphones in,â� She said while crossing her legs and sitting down next to me.

â�œOhâ�¦well she dropped a bucket on my head,â� I said while feeling my cheeks burn a little.

â�œBitch,â� She said simply while placing her hand on my flannel, â�œLet me,â� She said softly, I felt her hand brush against mine as she pressured the flannel on my temple.

â�œWhy is your hair all wet by the way?â� She asked with a small smile.

â�œShe kind of threw water on me first,â� I said with a small grin on my face.

â�œAh,â� She said simply.

â�œElspethâ�¦â� I said sheepishly, her careful eyes stared into mine her eyebrows frowned as I stared shyly into her eyes, â�œIâ�™mâ�¦Iâ�™m sorry I called you a jealous bitch, I only said it because I was tired of people justâ�¦butting in. Turns outâ�¦you were right though,â� I murmured nervously.

I watched a small smile form on her face, â�œYeah wellâ�¦I did call you heartless and a bastardâ�¦youâ�™re anything but that, big heart, big spirit,â� She smirked while wiping away some more of the blood. â�œAnyway I heard some of your argument with Coralâ�¦I thought the ass licking part was quite funny,â� She laughed while taking away the flannel.

â�œPart of the moment in all fairness,â� I sighed while watching her place a Band-Aid over my cut, â�œOuchâ�¦â� I muttered as the plastic touched my skin.

â�œMaybe itâ�™s better if you just let it breathe for now,â� She said while taking away the Band-Aid.

â�œThanks,â� I said sheepishly while stumbling to my feet, â�œWhoaâ�¦â� I muttered while holding my balance on the corner of the sofa.

Elspeth slowly wrapped her arm around my waist and helped me walk along the corridor. The bus was eerily quiet as I lay down on my bed, which was weirdly dry, compared to the amount of water Coral had thrown on me.

â�œI know Iâ�™ve said it before, but thanks Elspeth,â� I said genuinely.

â�œItâ�™s okay,â� She said with a strong smile, â�œIt actually looks like itâ�™s starting to bleed again,â� She said seriously.

â�œGreat,â� I said while rolling my eyes.

She smiled and lay down on the bed next to me, she gently rolled over and placed her hand on my chest, â�œHold still,â� She said seriously while placing the flannel on my temple again.

â�œYou couldnâ�™t apply anymore pressure eh?â� I said sarcastically with a small smirk.

â�œIs that a request Mr. Urie?â� She smirked while poking out her tongue.

â�œI think Iâ�™m okay for now,â� I smiled while staring intensely into her ocean eyes.

She smiled softly at me as she slowly checked to see if the bleeding had stopped. I nervously snaked my arm around her waist and whispered softly, â�œIt doesnâ�™t matter if it hasnâ�™t stopped I just want to sleep,â� I said while watching a small smile appear on her face.

â�œOkayâ�¦looks like its stopping now anyway,â� She said while removing the flannel and placing it on the side.

â�œTrust me it doesnâ�™t feel like it,â� I sighed while half closing my eyes.

â�œBrendonâ�¦are you okay?â� She asked seriously.

â�œI feel a bit dizzy,â� I murmured as I felt my blood trickle from my wound over my eyeâ�¦

â�œYou know,â� I heard Ryan start as he lay down on the sofa opposite me.

â�œWhat do you know?â� I asked hesitantly while peering up the bus to check it was just me and him awake.

He didnâ�™t reply instantly as I sat down at the kitchen table and pulled the contents of my pocket onto the surface. A small crash echoed though the area as I placed everything back in apart from a small clear bag.

â�I know that cocaine is no good for you,â� He snarled as I measured some out onto the table, â�œSeriously,â� He sighed as I inhaled the white powder forcing it up my nose, I felt my head rush as I placed the bag back into my pocket and slumping back down onto the sofa.

â�œYou know what I think is no good for you,â� I smirked while watching his eyes roll, â�œWhining, youâ�™ll make yourself ill,â� I said dazedly.

â�œAnd by sniffing that powder youâ�™re not?â� He retaliated with a cold tone.

â�œSorryâ�¦â� I said sincerely while throwing him a small smile, he returned and shook out his hand.

I reached towards it as I heard foot steps trailing up the corridor, as if someone had hit the slow motion button I missed Ryan handâ�™s and fell flat on my back onto the floor. I slowly opened my eyes as my vision was more blurry than normal, I could hear the slurring of Ryanâ�™s laugh as I looked up at Elspeth and Roxi.

â�œJesus,â� I slurred as Roxi slumped next to Ryan, while Elspeth made herself comfortable where I sat before.

â�œAre you like just going to lie there?â� Ryan mocked as I stared the ceiling.

â�œApparently,â� I smirked with the roll of the eyes; I grabbed hold of Elspethâ�™s hand which was waving for me to catch.

â�œWhere you guys going?â� I asked informally as the other two stood up.

â�œTo the back of the bus thatâ�™s allâ�¦for you know, some privacy,â� Ryan said hesitantly before disappearing into the darkness.

â�œWhatever,â� I sighed while feeling the world spin as I glanced at Elspeth, â�œYou know youâ�™re very pretty,â� I said honestly while watching a sly smirk appear on her face.

â�œBrendon seriously did you hit youâ�™re head?â� She sighed while raising an eyebrow at me.

â�œMy heads fine,â� I paused while watching her slouch back into the chair, â�œI just feel like being honest, youâ�™re pretty, and elegant and your scentâ�¦its like some wild flower,â� I murmured honestly.

â�œYeah well I know when youâ�™ve taken drugs so youâ�™ll of forgotten about this in the morning, so to avoid embarrassment I wonâ�™t tell anyone,â� She sighed irritably.

â�œSo I have taken a little drug, that doesnâ�™t change the way I feel about youâ�¦just on my honesty itâ�™s like truth serum,â� I smirked while watching the blue in her eyes dance.

â�œYeah-â�œBefore she could finish the sentence my lips were brushing against hers, she slowly pressed hers against mine as I placed my hand loosely on her knee.

I gently took my lips away as she stared dreamily into my eyes, â�œNow do you believe me?â� I smirked as she pressed her lips onto mine again; I felt her tongue burst into my mouth as her kiss was harder and more intense.

I felt my body slowly lean forward as she slowly let my body rest on top of hers, my hand moved slowly from her knee towards her waist as I trailed my lips down her neck.

â�œYou smell good,â� I whispered between kisses.

â�œMaybe we should-â�œ

â�œGo to my bed? Yeah just what I as thinking,â� I smirked while scooping her up into my arms and carrying her off towards my bedâ�¦

â�œBrendon,â� I heard a soft voice call as she gently shook my shoulder.

I gently forced my eyes open as Elspethâ�™s concerning face looked down at me. â�œWhat time is it?â� I asked while sitting up to her level.

â�œ3am,â� She smirked while watching my tired expression groan, â�œYou passed outâ�¦I was worried.â� She said seriously.

â�œOh please donâ�™t say you called an ambulance?â� I groaned while turning over and burying my head into the pillow

â�œAww youâ�™re so cute when youâ�™re grumpy,â� She laughed while lying back down, â�œNo I didnâ�™t, but luckily I got a Band-Aid over your eyebrow, but it isnâ�™t that wise to put pressure on it.â� She sighed seriously.

â�œNow you mention my head doesnâ�™t feel that greatâ�¦â� I murmured nervously while turning onto my side.

â�œYeah well at least youâ�™re talkingâ�¦it was only a bucket,â� She said with a small smile.

â�œShut up,â� I smirked while watching her expression gleam, â�œI have a very low pain barrier,â� I said honestly.

â�œOh I never would have guessed Brendonâ�¦do you always get delusional when you hurt yourself?â� She asked while smiling at me.

â�œDelusional?-â�œ

â�œBrendon you ate all the Oreos againâ�¦â�œRyan groaned while pulling back my curtain.

â�œHave you ever heard ofâ�¦you knowâ�¦asking to open the curtains first?â� I groaned while again burying my head into my pillow.

â�œOh Iâ�™m sorry I see you two are in the middle of something,â� He smirked while raising his eyebrows.

â�œWe were just talking,â� Elspeth sighed while gently hitting him on the chest.

â�œAnd again sorry,â� He smirked while joining us in cabin.

â�œYou know this is a very small bed,â� I moaned while sitting up so he could sit down in the bed.

â�œWhat are you doing up so early anyway?â� Elspeth asked while shuffling closer towards me so Ryan had some leg room at our end.

â�œI didnâ�™t sleepâ�¦well actually more like I couldnâ�™t sleep,â� He yawned while rolling his fingers through his hair, â�œPete had some company and I actually thought the bunk above me was going to break at one point,â� He moaned honestly.

â�œSeriouslyâ�¦â� I smirked.

I watched as Ryan slowly poked his head out of the curtain, â�œSomeoneâ�™s coming out of his bunk,â� He whispered quietly.

Before I put my head out Elspeth slowly placed her hand on my chest, â�œAre you sure you want to put your head out there?â� She said while gritting her teeth.

â�œStupid question Elsie,â� I smirked while putting my head out the curtain to see none other than Coral appear out of his bunk.

I hastily put my head back in and slouched against the wall. â�œI should have listened to you,â� I sighed while placing my head in my hands, â�œShe really is a whore.â�

Oh oh oh i updated (Y)

What do you think?

Comments are goooooood xD

~Notes From The Past~ 5 xD

Chapter Five: Slowdance on the inside

Brendonâ�™s POV

I shut my eyes again, hard and tight, I just didnâ�™t want to look at her, every time my stomach felt sick. Every word that I spat felt like a big mistake, what if I hadnâ�™t of called her a jealous bitchâ�¦maybe then last night wouldnâ�™t have happened. I noticed the shy glances they both shared, concentrate and control my mind on something, anything else.

â�œHey babe,â� I heard a familiar voice call while resting their head on my chest.

â�œHey Cora,â� I said blankly while keeping my eyes firmly shut.

â�œYou know itâ�™s rude not to look at the person youâ�™re talking to,â� She said with a sly tone.

I sighed deeply and flicked my eyes open; my eyes laid eyes of her, no not Coralâ�¦but Elspeth. Headphones jammed in her ears, she was slouching on Hayley like before every show, and it made me smile always.

â�œAre you nervous or something?â� Coral asked while placing her soft hand on my cheek.

â�œErrâ�¦â� I stuttered and drew my eyes towards hers, â�œYeahâ�¦I just need some me time right now,â� I said while kissing on the cheek.

I forced a weak smile as I got up and waited outside in the corridor. I slowly banged my head against the wall as I heard the echoing of thousands of fans calling only a few meters away. The stage was the one place I could escape everything, it was where I belonged, all the hopes and fears of my personal life would justâ�¦disappear. But tonightâ�¦the stage was one place I didnâ�™t want to go, not knowing that when I get back off it Iâ�™ll have Coral expecting some attentionâ�¦I wouldnâ�™t even get my own bed. It sounded selfish but I didnâ�™t want her, I didnâ�™t want her fake hands touching me, not when I was in love with someone else.

â�œBrendonâ�¦can I talk to you?â� I heard a voice ask from beside me. I turned my head and watched as Pete nervously played with the zipper on his hoodie like everyone did.

â�œYeah,â� I sighed while running my hair through my fingers, â�œCome on Wentzy out with it,â� I smirked.

â�œThis morningâ�¦I kind of got the feeling you were mad that I slept with Elspethâ�¦and I wanted to say-â�œ

â�œPeteâ�¦I have a girlfriendâ�¦me and Elspeth are no longer friends at all so do whatever you want,â� I sighed while feeling my heart drop, I really did not want to have this conversation.

â�œAh okay,â� He said awkwardly.

â�œPanic, you guys are on in five!â� I heard a voice call from up the end of the corridor.

â�œCome on Brenâ�¦we gotta rock Seattle,â� Ryan smirked while pulling me along the corridor.

For a change my heart wasnâ�™t pumping with adrenalin as I watched from the side of the stage, I felt sick, I bit my tongue and thought of what Iâ�™d just said. Iâ�™d just given her away, away forever.

After the show on the busâ�¦

â�œDude that crowd was awesome,â� Jon smirked while wrapping his arm around Izzie.

â�œIt was alright, I prefer smaller gigs, more intimacy,â� I said while pulling off my shirt.

â�œWhat is thisâ�¦the full Monty? Seriously Brendon your girlfriendâ�™s not even around,â� Izzie laughed while throwing a pillow at me.

â�œShe doesnâ�™t have to be attached to me,â� I smirked while watching Elspeth walk onto the bus.

â�œDude half of the time she is and I mean literally,â� Spencer laughed from the cabin area.

â�œOh fuck you,â� I said with a quiet roll of the eyes, â�œAt least Iâ�™m getting some, no offense Hayley,â� I retaliated while grabbing a box of Oreos out of the cupboard.

I heard a groan come from the cabin, â�œFrom the sounds of it youâ�™re wrong Brenny Bear,â� Jon smirked while leading Izzie to the back on the coach.

I bit my bottom lip and slouched on the sofa opposite Elspeth, I noticed her glance into my oaky brown eyes. I could feel my heart racing quicker again, like it would before I went on stage but today it didnâ�™t. I didnâ�™t know what to say because sorry wasnâ�™t good enough. I watched her slowly rise to her feet and open the cupboard, I knew what she was looking for and Iâ�™d just taken the last box.

â�œWeâ�™re kind of out,â� I said blankly while shoving my mouth full of more Oreos.

â�œYeah I guessed that,â� She said coldly while walking over to the bunks.

I sighed and slouched deeper into my chair. I heard the door open, I knew who it was, I was the kind of person who could tell who was coming just by their footsteps.

â�œYou werenâ�™t in the dressing roomâ�¦â� She sighed sadly while sitting next to me.

â�œNo I wasnâ�™t,â� I replied blankly.

â�œWhat is up with you today? Ever since this morning youâ�™ve been acting like I donâ�™t exist,â� She said coldly.

â�œNo I havenâ�™t,â� I said firmly while brushing my hands through my hair, â�œI just have things on my mind...just tell me since when has the world revolved around Coral?â� I spat while getting up.

â�œYouâ�™re such an asshole,â� She said coldly.

â�œAnd that makes you whatâ�¦an ass licker then?â� I said while coldly walking off to my bunk, I jumped into my bed and buried my head in my pillow.

That smell of lavender was still wafting on my pillow; I deeply inhaled its sweet scent and closed my eyes. I imaged her in my head, the way things used to be, I just wanted them to go back to how they should be. I shut my eyes harder and felt the world melt away, and notes from the past submerging backâ�¦

â�œHow cool is thatâ�¦weâ�™re on the front of a magazine, a real magazine,â� Ryan smirked while waving the magazine in front of my face.

â�œWe do look pretty awesome,â� I smirked while reading the article, â�œAnd it doesnâ�™t make us sound like twats,â� I said genuinely, â�œWhereâ�™s Pete anyway?â� I asked while passing the magazine to a half awake Spencer.

â�œI think he went to get some of his friends from the airport,â� Ryan said while pouring himself some Lucky Charms.

â�œOh...â� I said blankly, I slowly sat down and watched the bus door open and Pete smirk at us all as two girls followed him.

â�œYouâ�™re pimping man,â� Spencer smirked while half opening his eyes.

â�œYeah,â� Pete smiled while sitting next to Ryan, â�œGuys Iâ�™d like you to meet my friends from Chicago, Roxi and Elspeth,â� He said openly.

I slowly flattened my hair down like I always would when I was nervous, I watched as a girl with caramel blonde hair sat down next to me.

Her eyes were a striking blue, they molded the center of interest in her facial features, and she was perfect.

â�œIâ�™m Brendon,â� I smiled while feeling my cheeks go a shade of red.

â�œElspeth,â� She smirked while tilting her head to the side, â�œPeteâ�™s right you do look better in reality than in pictures,â� She said honestly.

â�œBest compliment Iâ�™ve had all day,â� I smiled while staring deeply into her ocean blue eyesâ�¦

â�œGet up you wanker,â� I heard someone shout, I hastily flipped over as cold water hit the back of my head.

â�œWhat the hell did you do that for?â� I groaned while clenching the back of my head.

â�œBecause we argue and all you do is go to fucking sleep,â� Coral shouted while throwing more water onto my head, â�œYou donâ�™t even bother to fight anymore, youâ�™re so fucking absent,â� She was practically screaming at me now.

â�œDo you want to stop that?â� I gasped while feeling the coldness freeze my skin.

â�œErr let me think about it,â� She paused and unison with her speaking, â�œNo,â� She poured the last contents and the bucket on my head.

Thanks you for bearing with me on this one, been slightly sidetracked with all the coursework deadlines but this is quite a good chapter to make up for it i think :)

What do you thinkkkkk???

~Time After Time~[ElliotMinorxPATD] 1.

Chapter one: Time After time and weâ�™re still the same.

Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I swear, I can still hear his voice murmuring in my ear next to me. Sometimes I still feel his hot touch burn off my skin. Sometimes I believe that he is still mine, but then the alarm clock screams through the glass that is this reality. Do I care? Yes, the mirrors are like glass, all I see is what he did, I see the pain, I see the lust, I see that shards of my love I gave him, the love that he so bitterly threw back at me. My eyes were staring directly back at me as my fingers creased over the edges of the desk, why was I letting him do this, I had come here to defeat him, to run from him. I hated this.

â�œWeâ�™re rolling in five,â� I heard a voice call to me from the doorframe.

With a sigh I rolled my eyes over my composure to make sure everything looked okay, throwing on a fake smile was going to be hard today. Ah today, today I was finally doing some work, I had been casted as an extra in a new music video, at least it was something to take my mind off things, and the money wasnâ�™t too bad either. I slowly turned around and let my feet carry me closer towards the Californian sunlight that was creeping away from its sunny friend. I loved California, Iâ�™d only been here for three months but Iâ�™d fallen in love with the place, it was a million miles away from what I called home, weather wise and distance wise, but it was perfect here. My eyes traced to the floor as I flew my caramel hair out of my eyes and towards the side of my brow. I felt my body collide with someone elseâ�™s as I approached the sunlight, he instantly picked up the cup heâ�™d knocked out of my hand and looked up at me with his ocean eyes, they were like a mirror image to mine. Stupid Elspeth off with the fairies again, and this time they stole my coffee.

â�œIâ�™m sorry,â� He started as he handed me back the now empty coffee cup, â�œLet me buy you another,â� He offered as in noted his accent, it was distinctively British, like not the cockney kind but educated.

â�œNo its fine, seriously,â� I sighed while trying to force a small smile out of my tired composure.

I watched as his eyes studied my expression, why was he still even stood there? Did he actually care? It was only a cup of coffee. I studied the way his chocolate brown hair was combed out of his eyes unveiling there perfect gem stone status, the red stripe on the right of his head enhanced the blue in such a captivating way, he wasnâ�™t exactly terrible looking.

â�œAre youâ�¦okay?â� He asked hesitantly as I quickly glanced out of his stare.

â�œIâ�™m fine,â� I sighed while leaning up against the wall behind me.

â�œOf course you are,â� He smirked while shuffling closer towards me.

He was slightly taller than me, well in all honesty almost everyone was taller than me, I barely stood at five foot four therefore he towered above me.

â�œPeople like meâ�¦weâ�™re never okay, you get used to it, no worries and all that shit,â� I smirked while gluing my eyes shut.

â�œWell maybe I can help you be okay, Iâ�™m a nice guy reallyâ�¦I donâ�™t make a habit of knocking coffee over peopleâ�¦although people do make a habit of sabotaging mine.â� I heard him murmur while circling me and placing himself up against the wall, his arm brushing against mine.

â�œOh reallyâ�¦?â� I smirked as he let a small laugh form out of his composure.

â�œReally, really,â� He paused with a smile across his fragile lips, â�œThe guys put butter in it last time, and unopened milk tabletsâ�¦the bastards, and the thing is I was half awake and it was like, â�˜What theâ�¦oh noâ�™ but it was really delayed so I made a total ass out of myself,â� He explained with a gentle smile which was permently conversing his lips.

â�œYour friends sound really nice,â� I smiled while drawing my attention to the busy crowd of people at the end of the street.

â�œThey areâ�¦are you needed down there?â� He asked while joining my line of stare.

â�œI think so,â� I sighed while staring back into his eyes again.

â�œYouâ�™re not who I think you are, are you? Because if you are then we can practice kissing nowâ�¦â� He laughed as I suddenly felt a wave of confusion roll through my body.

â�œWhat the hellâ�¦?â� I laughed, I could feel my cheeks burning I could just imagine the fire bell going off on my head.

â�œSorryâ�¦Iâ�™ve just made an ass outta myself,â� He laughed also trying to avoid his embarrassment, â�œI hopedâ�¦well thought, you were the girl I kiss in the video,â� He mumbled while rolling his fingers through his fringe and keeping his concentration on the floor.

â�œHoped eh? Wellâ�¦â� I smirked; I hadnâ�™t been hit on by a guy this cute in a long time.

â�œAh well, at least let me repay you that coffee, then I could possibly make you feel a bit more closer to okay than not,â� He muttered while folding his arms behind his back.

â�œSeriously itâ�™s okayâ�¦I donâ�™t need a-â�œBefore I could carry on he cut me off with his strings of perfect words.

â�œNo seriously I insist, and since I just met you I refuse to have an argument about this,â� He smirked while throwing his hair out of his eyes.

â�œKind of nice to hear that good old accent,â� I smirked, Christ what a terrible way to create small talk.

â�œYeah, the only other accents I hear is the guys,â� He smiled, it was cute how his lip curled slightly whenever he talked, â�œIts Alex by the way,â� He introduced while reaching out his hand.

â�œElspeth,â� I smiled while shaking my hand in his.

â�œI gotta goâ�¦â� He started while grabbing my hand and pulling a pen out of his pocket, â�œHereâ�™s my number and itâ�™s in sharpie so thereâ�™s no excuse not to get back to me with that coffee,â� He smirked as I felt the pen tickle over my pale skin.

Before I knew it he was off on his way, the only strange thing I found about that conversation is he gave me this weird feeling. It was like someone was sat on my stomach after a really big meal, and I hadnâ�™t felt that in a long time. What amazing ability he had, Iâ�™d known him two minutes and he had the ability to make me feel sick, what a complement. But of course being the person I am I would never say that, in a perfect, or imperfect, world. With a sigh I walked towards the area that seemed to be surrounded by a lot of the crew, I guess this was where I was supposed to be.

â�œOkay everyone,â� A reasonably tall guy announced, â�œWeâ�™re going to shoot the shop scenes,â� He announced, I had no idea what that was but all I did know is I had no reason to be in that part. This meant another hour of waiting, another hour of thinking, another hour of him tormenting meâ�¦

I gently shut my eyes rested my body against the wall, there wasnâ�™t that many extras in all honesty, at least it was on a nice setting. I feel the wind blowing onto my cheek from up the man made street; it was a classic American boulevard, weird since it was an English band.

â�œI hear this band suck,â� I heard a voice mutter in my direction.

I quickly turned my attention to a black haired guy who was stood next to me, also leaning against the wall; his pearly whites were gleaming at me as he stared into my eyes. His eyes were a bold shade of brown that matched perfectly with his stare; his Japanese perfections were clear in just a glance. His black hair was perfectly styled with a rare hair out of place of the black mesh, and the odd freckle crept away from his tanned skin as I took his composure in.

â�œIâ�™ve never heard of them,â� I smiled while watching him pull a case out of his surprisingly small pocket.

â�œTake a listen,â� He smiled while handing me the disc, from the front cover I could tell instantly he knew the band quite well.

â�œVery modest,â� I smirked while glancing at the picture then back into his eyes, â�œVery modest saying this band sucks and youâ�™re in the band,â� I smiled while watching him raise his hands up as if I had caught him red handed.

â�œYeah we do suck, but, weâ�™re still better than you,â� He smirked as I let my ocean eyes roll.

â�œIâ�™m not even in a band,â� I snarled while glancing at the cover, and there he was directly in the middle, the boy I had bumped into earlierâ�¦or had bumped into me, I hadnâ�™t quite worked out the matter of fault.

The point was that we had met, and I had felt something, Elspeth Rea, the biggest member of the lonely hearts club felt something.

â�œSorry where are my manners,â� He smirked while shuffling closer towards me, â�œIâ�™m Ed,â� He smiled while reaching out his hand.

Why did everyone do that round here?

â�œElspeth,â� I smiled while grasping his hand in mine, it was reasonably cold but firm, I could tell he was a musician.

He returned it with a small smile, he gently let go and drew his attention to the blaring music that I guessed was his single. I watched as the guy I had met minutes before mingled with a pretty brunette girl and placed a simple kiss on her lips.

â�œHoly shit,â� I groaned while watching him mingle with her between takes, I heard a sigh form from Edâ�™s gentle composure.

â�œHeâ�™s a lucky, lucky guy,â� He sighed, I glanced into his eyes and watched a gentle flame of anger flicker in the corner of his stareâ�¦at least I wasnâ�™t the only one jealous, which was oddly reassuring, even though he wasnâ�™t jealous of the girl, but Alex.

â�œIf you say so,â� I sighed while rolling my fingers through my hair.

â�œOhh,â� He smirked while raising his eyebrows seductively, â�œSo youâ�™ve got the hots for Alex,â� He smiled while nudging my side.

â�œShut up, you have the hots for that girl,â� I hit back while watching his eyes gently roll.

â�œNo I donâ�™t, itâ�™s just saying something that Alex is getting some actionâ�¦thereâ�™s hope for us all,â� He smirked while letting his lips craft that perfect smile yet again.

â�œNiceâ�¦â� I sighed while shutting my eyes tightly.

â�œEither way, Iâ�™m a better kisser than him, so that girl is kinda sucking really,â� He murmured as I felt a laugh converse my lips.

â�œSo youâ�™ve kissed him to know thatâ�¦?â� I laughed as his face dropped a stone cold.

â�œHell noâ�¦!â� He cried as I burst into hysterics, yes, Iâ�™d only known this guy four ten minutes but he was already so easy to get on with, even if I did have the hint he was trying to hit on me.

â�œSo how do you know heâ�™s a better kisser?â� I asked as he contained himself.

â�œNo, no Iâ�™m a better kisserâ�¦not him,â� He smiled while steeping closer towards me.

â�œIâ�™m sure you are,â� I smirked while watching his soft eyes roll, it was as if someone had painted them in with oil pastels, they were perfect.

I watched his expression wipe clean like a slate, and before I knew it his hand was placed on my hip and his lips were brushing against mine. I felt him tug on the corner of my shirt as he rolled his ruby dimes over mine, his tongue gently brushed against mine as I simply kissed him back, either way I couldnâ�™t run I was pinned up against a wall like a poster. I hesitantly placed my hand on the small of his back and let my tongue explore the rims of his lips and beyond, he was right though he was a good kisser.

He gently grazed his lips away before placing one final last kiss on my porcelain smile, â�œTold you I was a better kisser,â� He smiled while grabbing my cell out of my pocket.

I watched him slowly punch some of the keys with the brim of his thumb; he gently placed it back as if he had never touched it and with a cheeky smile he waved and walked off.

I quickly grabbed my cell out of my pocket and found the recent numbers menu, â�œI never kissed Alex,â� I smirked as he halted his pace and let out a small laugh.

â�œWell now thereâ�™s a reason to,â� He grinned while turning round to glance at me one last time, â�œOr you could meet me for coffee and just stick to my lips,â� He said softly before waving his hand at me and hanging up the phone.

What the hell had just happened then? I had known the guy five minutes and he made out with me, and whatâ�™s weird is I actually felt normal kissing him, I didnâ�™t feel like everyone was watching meâ�¦but then of course I had to see who was sat on the bench opposite the street from me.

â�œWanna go get some coffee now?â� Alex asked while pacing towards me, oh please do not say heâ�™s going to come kiss my face off as well, I knew there was a reason I should have bought my lip balm with me.

You may notice that i reuse my characters cause at the end of the day i can't be bothered to make up new ones haha. Leave comment about what you think. Personally i love Elliot Minor if you've never heard of them check out their myspace: www.myspace.com/elliotminor they are pretty good tbf. Oh and something that cheered me up today going to see Fall Out Boy in october in Bham, its going to be amazinggggg xD

Leave a comment please i really wanna know what people think on this one :)

Oh and before i forget heres the video for 'time after time' which i based the story on so basically everything thats happening is kinda behind the scenes of the video shoot. The character Elspeth is not in the video btw xD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9ESNwLC7bE

~Notes From The Past~ 4.

Chapter Four: A decade under the influence

Elspethâ�™s POV

â�œAre you sure youâ�™re okay?â� I heard him ask again, the words hollow and dry, the amount of times theyâ�™d pierced my earsâ�¦they just seemed to sound like nothing.

â�œYeah Iâ�™m fine,â� I said blankly while staring at the opposite side of the bar.

â�œQuit lying Elspethâ�¦you havenâ�™t been fine since we were on the ferry this morning,â� He said seriously, I stared at his hazel eyes and everything was a reminder of Brendon.

â�œNo I havenâ�™t,â� I said vacantly, â�œI was delusionalâ�¦thinking there was something there wasnâ�™t but now Iâ�™m fine,â� I said while taking a shot of tequila.

â�œOkayâ�¦â� He said slowly while trailing off, I watched as his eyes flew to a certain blonde who was sat at the other end of the bar to us.

â�œGo get her number Pete,â� I said while nudging him.

â�œNahâ�¦sheâ�™s hot but sheâ�™d only give it me because Iâ�™m Pete freaking Wentz.â� He smirked while finishing his beer.

â�œWell if I was her,â� I slurred while taking any shot of tequila, â�œIâ�™d give you my number because youâ�™re cute,â� I said honestly.

â�œWell,â� He said with a small smile on his face, he knelt his head closer to mine and maintained eye contact, â�œThatâ�™s probably the best complement Iâ�™ve had all day,â� He smirked while showing his glowing whites.

I couldnâ�™t help but laugh and I gently placed my head on his shoulder as two familiar friends sat next to us at the bar.

â�œHey guys,â� Hayley said while stopping as she noted all the empty glasses surrounding us, â�œJesus Elspeth, itâ�™s only nine and youâ�™ve already had five shots of tequila,â� She groaned while perching on the bar stall next to me.

â�œWell Iâ�™ve had a bad day,â� I sighed while feeling Pete caress my back with his warm hand.

â�œAnd whatâ�™s your excuse Mr. Wentz?â� Spencer asked while sipping on his beer.

â�œErrâ�¦â� He stuttered, â�œWhen in Rome,â� He responded with a strong smile engulfing his face.

â�œIdiotsâ�¦you two are going to feel it in the morning,â� Hayley laughed while munching on some peanuts.

â�œOh shut up,â� I paused while grabbing Peteâ�™s hand, â�œWeâ�™re going to his room so we can get wrecked without the alcohol police recording our every move,â� I snarled while pulling Pete and his beer away from the bar.

â�œBye then,â� Spencer laughed as we walked towards the elevator.

I could hear Pete laughing in my ear as we entered the empty room. His minty breath wafted up my nostrils as he stood behind me and rested his head on my shoulder. I felt his hands roll under my tee and his warm fingers stroke the coldness of my skin.

â�œWhat are you doing?â� I smirked while placing my cold hands onto his.

â�œWeâ�™re dancing to the elevator music,â� He smirked while swaying to the music.

â�œSeriouslyâ�¦â� I laughed while embracing this moment.

Maybe it was just nothing, another time where Pete has acted like an ass. But today, everything has been so jaded and surreal; thingsâ�¦moments like this were safe. And safe, safe is good. As the doors slowly slid themselves open we found ourselves on the top floor of the hotel, up here there was a perfect view of the city in all its bounty. I felt Peteâ�™s soft fingers knot between mine as we walked down the long corridor. It was weird how in every hotel the corridors all looked the same, the pictures, chairs, wall paper; everything was a replica of itself. We halted outside Peteâ�™s room, I couldnâ�™t help but smile as he fumbled with the key card, we had not drunk that much.

â�œI almost got it,â� He murmured while passing me his drink.

â�œLet me you fool,â� I said with a quiet roll of the eyes, I slowly knelt down towards the door and placed the key card in its slot.

I stood up and smiled strongly at Pete as we stood in front of the doorway.

â�œI donâ�™t get it youâ�™ve had more than me,â� I said while raising an eyebrow.

â�œIt all comes with practice,â� I laughed while grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room. He rolled his eyes and quietly closed the door behind him and threw his coat onto the bed.

â�œWho are you sharing with?â� I asked while staring at the large double bed.

â�œIâ�™m not, I hate sharingâ�¦to be fair though I am a shitty roommate,â� He smirked while sitting down next to me on the couch.

I stared at the floor as he slurped down the last of his beer, maybe Spencer was right. Today, I remembered him and Pete having a conversation on romance and Seattle. Maybe it really was something they sprayed in the air. I stared at Pete and carefully noted the way his hair showed the outline of his cheek bone, and the way his eyes twinkled whenever he smiled. And most of all I noticed that whenever my eyes stared into his he made me feel like I was the only person alive. He slowly put his bottle down and moved his hand to my cheek, his finger tips were so hard from where he played bass, but they carried a silky smooth feeling. I smiled as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear, I briefly glanced out of the stare and my eyes drew to his perfectly sculptured lips, the intimacy was unbelievably alert, but it was only a stare. He slowly moved his hand to my knee and I watched as his lips collided closer to mine, I gently shut my eyes and my lips brushed against his, they were so much softer than they looked. He momentarily took his lips away and I pressed mine against his again, I felt his tongue brush against the rim of my mouth I met his with mine and I felt myself slowly move back onto the sofa where his hands explored the underneath of my tee. I smiled as I stared into his eyes; he returned it and moved his lips along my neck. For one second I thought of Brendon and the impulse was greater, I bought my lips to Peteâ�™s again and kissed harder and more intense. Kissing away the painâ�¦

The next morningâ�¦

Ryanâ�™s POV

My eyes slowly glazed over him, heâ�™d been wound up since yesterday, he hadnâ�™t even paid any interest in Coral, and this is where I know that something was up. I watched as he played with the zipper on his hoodie, maybe he was depressed, I mean touring can take its toll. No, Brendon wouldnâ�™t be depressed heâ�™d too strong for that.

â�œYes Ryan?â� He asked sarcastically while conscious to my gaze.

â�œOhâ�¦sorry its nothing,â� I sighed while slouching back in my seat on the bus.

I slowly sighed as the door swung open to reveal a very tired looking Pete and Elspeth. She slumped next to me and hung her head followed by Pete.

â�œAnd where were you last night? You never used your bed,â� I asked while raising an eyebrow.

â�œOh well I used a bed,â� She paused while holding her head with her hand, â�œIt just wasnâ�™t used for sleeping,â� She said with a devilish smile on her face.

â�œElspeth too much information,â� Pete groaned while grabbing a drink from the side.

I noticed his face was a slight shade of crimson as Brendon walked up to the kitchen counter to grab some Oreos.

â�œWhat are you two hiding?â� I asked suspiciously.

â�œWellâ�¦â� Elspeth stuttered while exchanging an odd look with Brendon, â�œNothingâ�¦its nothing,â� She said while playing with her hair, I watched Pete grab her arm and mutter something to her.

â�œPete stop it,â� She said with a huge grin in her face.

â�œOh come on Elspeth,â� Pete murmured while staring at me, â�œYou canâ�™t change the fact that we had sex last night,â� He said with a small smirk.

â�œYou whatâ�¦!?â� Brendon spat as he practically choked on the Oreo he had in his mouth.

â�œOh what do you care Brendon, apparently Iâ�™m just a jealous bitch,â� Elspeth said coldly while walking off to her bunk down the bus.

â�œWhat was that all about?â� I asked as Pete went after her.

â�œNothing,â� Brendon said while blankly staring into space, â�œI just wish sheâ�™d realize that the timeâ�™s wrong,â� He said with an odd look on his face.

â�œAnd that means?â� I asked.

â�œWe need to get on with our lives the hard way,â� He said while shoving some Oreos in his mouth and slumping next to me on the chair.

Back from devon...finally, it was a tad shitty and i just found out i can't go see elliot minor in three weeks so review to cheer me up please.

Thanks for all so far :)

~Notes From The Past~ 2 + 3

Chapter Two: Perfect World

â�œLand ho!â� Spencer called as we set foot for the first time in 24 hours. We were currently on a tour and our next three shows had bought us to my favorite city, Seattle. There was something about the place, I loved the fact that it was surrounded by sea, and that it had adorable little ferry boats, and yeah it was like any other city but it seemed to stick out. I would always love to look out onto the horizon at the night time from my old apartment. It was quite far from the main city so you had the perfect view of the different colored lights from my front room. It was perfect. But times change, I was scared to let myself shine and it was here that I found my supposed self.

â�œI can run away from the twatty twinsâ�¦finally!â� Jon cried jokily, I laughed with him as he hooked hands with Izzie who was his rebound from Angel.

She didnâ�™t realize it but me and the guys saw it crystal clearly.

â�œIâ�™m not part of this â�˜twatty twinsâ�™ label, just so you know, there is only one twin and thatâ�™s Spencer,â� Ryan stated while folding his arms like a little kid.

â�œWell if thatâ�™s true then Spencerâ�™s a cute twat,â� Hayley smiled while kissing him softly on the cheek.

â�œAww Ryan your cute when you pout, youâ�™re so baby faced,â� Elspeth cooed while catching up with my stride. I could feel her eyes piercing me, I turned to face her and bit my bottom lip.

â�œAre you okay?â� She asked nervously.

â�œYeahâ�¦â� I said sharply while shoving my hands in my pockets, â�œElspeth,â� I paused softly, â�œWhat was this morning?â� I asked nervously while watching the others grab their key cards.

â�œI...erâ�¦what do you mean?â� She asked while raising an eyebrow.

â�œWellâ�¦last night we got drunk, and ended up sleepingâ�¦togetherâ�¦and itâ�™s not the first time. Butâ�¦â� I paused and tried to clear the hard lump I always had in my throat when I was nervous, â�œThis morning, it felt like you wereâ�¦you were myâ�¦well as if we were more than just friends. Normally its alcohol that makes everything horny but I had none.â� I bit my bottom lip and stared into her worried eyes.

â�œWe didnâ�™t do anything Brendon,â� She smirked, â�œAnd to me it was no drunken mistake but after the alcohol it gets hardâ�¦I know you donâ�™t love her, but there was alcohol and you wearing that hot shirt and it went from point to point,â� She smirked while maintaining eye contact. â�œIt was a dream and a dream that wasnâ�™t realâ�¦and I canâ�™t do a love song the way itâ�™s meant to be.â� She said finally, she smiled and wrapped her arms around me, â�œIâ�™m sharing with Ryan soâ�¦Iâ�™ll see you later,â� She said while bravely walking off.

All that was left was that strong lavender smell, it oozed up my nostrils like it always would. Nothing compared to her, and every step was making the pain inside bleed a little more.

â�œBrendon!â� I heard a voice cry from behind me.

I turned around and couldnâ�™t help but smile as a familiar looking girl flew her arms around me. It was Coral, the girl I had confessed my love for only a few weeks ago. Her blonde hair was looking as bleached as ever, and her makeup was slapped on to hide all the imperfections that were never there. I knew she was a sham but it made me want to explore her, she was hiding so much and I had found out so little. I vowed after Audrey to never go for a girl like her but here I was stood holding what I was trying to avoid in the middle of Seattle.

â�œI missed you so muchâ�¦your scentâ�¦your smile,â� She paused and slowly bought her lip gloss covered lips towards mine. â�œAnd your kiss,â� She said finally.

I smiled softly and hugged her. Her scent was a lot muskier than Elspeth, it wasnâ�™t the smell I wanted, I loved Lavender and I loved Coral, supposedly, but misery likes company and for now it is me.

â�œWell say something,â� Coral said sweetly into my shirt collar.

â�œSorry I just havenâ�™t seen you in a whileâ�¦â� I paused and stroked her short fringe, â�œI just wanna embrace you,â� I smiled while pressing my forehead against hers.

â�œAww so sweet,â� She cooed while pressing her lips on mine again.

â�œSave it for the bedroom girl,â� I laughed while grabbing her hand and heading towards the elevator.

â�œIt was 2am and we were drunk,â� I laughed as the doors shut firm.

Elspethâ�™s POV

â�œSo Ryan, what extra channels we got?â� I asked as he flicked through the guide on the TV.

â�œPorn,â� He said blankly with a small smile.

â�œRyan,â� I groaned while rolling my eyes, he smirked at me with his big brown eyes and it made me think of him.

I moved off the bed and jumped on the floor next to Ryan who was finding himself engulfed in Opra, seriously.

â�œItâ�™s only a week,â� He said while studying my expression I glanced at him and felt a tear form in the corner of my eye.

â�œWhat are you talking about?â� I asked trying to hide my watery eyes.

â�œBrendonâ�¦being with Coral, sheâ�™s only here for a week then sheâ�™s away again for god knows how long,â� He said with a reassuring smile, â�œIn my opinion I think he should break up with her, sheâ�™s a selfish slut who is permently attached to his manhood,â� Ryan said honestly.

â�œSeriously, too much information Rye,â� I laughed while resting my head on his shoulder.

â�œWell itâ�™s the truthâ�¦I think I preferred Audrey to her, at least she was nice to me,â� He sighed while wrapping his arm around me.

â�œYeahâ�¦she never liked me neither does Coral though,â� I said honestly.

I watched Ryanâ�™s careful eyes stare into mine, his skin tone was as radiant as ever, and he never let his hair go greasy so its silky locks fell from the side of his hat. He smiled nervously as I felt his hand brush against my cheek. The ends of his fingers were cold but yet the rest of his hand was warm from his soft gloves covering them. I could help but smile on how cute he was beingâ�¦it was so surreal.

â�œHey guys,â� I heard Spencer call as he entered the room, without knocking as usual.

â�œEver heard of knocking?â� Ryan stated the obvious while releasing a small smile.

â�œYeah itâ�™s just my right hand is incapable of doing so,â� Spencer smirked while sitting down next to me while soon followed by Hayley.

â�œWhat are you two up to anyway?â� Hayley asked while stroking her blonde hair.

â�œOhâ�¦just talking,â� Ryan said smoothly, â�œAnd what do you two want?â� He said in a mimicking tone.

â�œWe got a bit tired of the â�˜noisesâ�™ coming from Brendonâ�™s room, seriously itâ�™s not cute anymore itâ�™s just disgusting,â� Spencer said honestly, the thought of Brendon and her together made my stomach get sick.

â�œIt was never cute,â� Ryan said coldly,â� Sheâ�™s a whore and heâ�™s an idiot,â� He added firmly.

â�œDudeâ�¦â� Spencer said blankly.

â�œWeâ�™re really bad friends,â� I smirked while exchanging a smile with Hayley.

â�œOh yeah,â� She said smoothly.

We all sat there in silence apart from the sounds of the sirens running in the Seattle suburbs. I could feel the tenseness, the variation of our lives, as if everything was running in slow motion I watched the door open, and there he was. No it wasnâ�™t Brendon Urie but the guy that had introduced me to him, Pete Wentz.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Three: The Sky Is Falling

Elspethâ�™s POV

The horn echoed through the horizon, sending shimmers on diversity to the setting, I felt his hand move towards my zipper.

â�œSeriously Elspeth itâ�™s the middle of January and you donâ�™t even have your hoodie done up,â� Pete said softly, I watched as he gently did up my hoodie.

Something was up he had been the sweetest since we had got here, site seeing wasnâ�™t something weâ�™d normally do on a tour. Even so, Pete was still acting weird.

â�œSince when have you liked Seattle?â� I asked as he walked alongside the railing.

â�œI donâ�™t knowâ�¦it seems more,â� He paused while trying to balance himself on a part of the railing, â�œIt seems more homelyâ�¦probably that itâ�™s the fifth time this year Iâ�™ve been here, I love the place itâ�™s so beckoning,â� He said honestly flashing his pearly whites.

â�œItâ�™s not beckoning,â� Spencer butted in, â�œItâ�™s romantic, I reckon itâ�™s something they spray in the air,â� He said dumb wittingly.

â�œOh fuck off Spencer,â� I snarled while letting Pete use me as a balancing post.

â�œOh you got told Spencer,â� Brendon laughed while walking down the dusty path towards a bench.

I couldnâ�™t help but stare as Coral slumped next to him like a fashion accessory, which she practically was. Everything inch of her plastered in foundation, and who wears hot pants in January?

â�œYou know I think we should go ice skating, you know with the day off and everything, and it means we can take the ferry, I love ferry boats,â� Pete smirked while exchanging glances of excitement with Patrick and Jon.

â�œI donâ�™t know guys,â� Ryan said with a worried look on his face, â�œI mean what if one of us falls over and breaks something?â� He said while staring at his shoes.

â�œYouâ�™ve never skated before have you?â� Hayley asked caringly.

â�œMaybe notâ�¦â� He said sheepishly.

â�œAwwâ�¦donâ�™t worry its easy and everyone falls over so donâ�™t worry about looking like an ass,â� She smiled reassuringly.

â�œYeah it just comes naturally for you Ryan, being an ass that is,â� Brendon mocked while placing a kiss along Coralâ�™s neck.

â�œDonâ�™t listen to him,â� I said while wrapping my arms around Ryan, â�œHeâ�™s been acting like an ass since Mc Fake got here.â� I smirked while resting my head on his chest.

â�œExcuse me?â� I heard a sharp voice call from a distance.

â�œOh nothing,â� I said hastily, I heard a laugh come from Pete whose hand was still on my shoulder, he jumped and joined the hug that me and Ryan had going.

â�œYeah nothing at all,â� He said sarcastically.

I watched a small grin form on Ryanâ�™s face as he pulled away from the hug.

â�œIce skating then?â� He asked while raising an eyebrow.

â�œYeah,â� Spencer smiled while butting in.

â�œI guess we better go catch the ferry then,â� Hayley ushered while walking down the path with the guys.

I watched as Brendon slowly pulled Coral up off the bench, I could tell he knew that I was staring at him. It was as if I had a gun to his head, his lips quivered as Coral caught up with Jon, and he was the only one stupid enough to actually like her. I titled my head as Brendon slowly shoved his hands in his pockets, his hollow brown eyes clicked with mine, and for some reason a part of me was hurting.

I felt a hand graze against the small of my back, â�œCome on, you can sort things out with him later,â� Pete whispered in my ear.

I bit my bottom lip and slowly walked down the path with Peteâ�™s hand still comforting me, we walked past him as if he was just a statue. Naivety that was one thing I was not going to lose myself to.

On the ferryâ�¦

â�œIâ�™m flying,â� Spencer laughed as he balanced himself on the railings on the front of the ferry.

â�œIdiot,â� Pete smirked while slouching back in his seat next to me.

The taste of salt wafted through the cracks in my teeth as I smiled at Spencer.

â�œItâ�™s weird you know,â� Pete said out of the blue.

â�œWhatâ�™s weird?â� I asked while staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

â�œWhenever we seem to go out in public Spencer acts like an ass,â� He smirked while watching the look on Spencerâ�™s face change.

â�œI heard that you wanker,â� He retaliated.

â�œOh burn,â� I laughed while watching Pete jump to his feet and run into Spencerâ�™s direction.

The Seattle horizon was getting closer upon us as the boat chugged a little closer second by second. I heard footsteps trail towards the bench I was perched on, they gradually stopped next to me, and twice that day my eyes met his. His stare was so intense, the thousands of shades of brown he had was perfectly sculpted into that oaky stare he carried. I watched as he bit his lip and sat next to me, his thigh brushed against mine as his lips were only inches from me.

â�œWhereâ�™sâ�¦Coral?â� I asked bitterly.

â�œSheâ�™s gone to use the rest roomâ�¦â� He said dryly, his tone quivered as he carefully placed his hand in mine making sure no one saw, â�œYou know I canâ�™t,â� He paused, â�œAnd sheâ�™s not fake, you just donâ�™t give her a chance,â� He said seriously, I glanced out of his stare and lowered my eyebrows.

â�œYou knowâ�¦you,â� I paused and tried to hold back the tears I could feel building, â�œI donâ�™t care Brendon,â� I pulled away my hand, â�œWhen I see you with her it makes me feel sick, stop pulling me in, and stop pretending to care,â� I said while hastily stumbling to my feet.

â�œIs everything okay Elspeth?â� Pete called as he wrapped his arm around me again.

â�œPete could you just,â� Brendon paused and stood so he was facing us, â�œPlease could you just go away a second?â� He asked while biting his lip firmly.

I watched as Peteâ�™s eyes slowly dropped, there was such a tense stink in the air. I felt my eyes burn as Brendon lowered his eyebrows and stared at me again. The look, it was the same one as the first day I had met him, shyâ�¦with a hint of familiarity. Intimidationâ�¦that was the only thing being let off by Pete, but he always would act like a shield to me, even if I didnâ�™t ask to.

â�œPeteâ�¦maybe now just isnâ�™t a great time,â� I said while wiping my nothing but dry eyes.

â�œAre you sure?â� He whispered carefully in my ear.

â�œI think so,â� I said while feeling him slowly taking his hands from off me, I could still feel his safe touch burning off my hoodie.

â�œIâ�™m not pretending Elspethâ�¦â� Brendon said solemnly while watching Pete join the others in the conversation they had going.

â�œOh reallyâ�¦?â� I said sarcastically while leaning against the railings.

â�œYeah,â� He said simply while gaining a few steps towards me, â�œYouâ�™re my best friendâ�¦and I expect you to support me on this,â� He sighed.

â�œBrendon I am not supporting you to be trapped by someone like her,â� I said coldly, â�œSheâ�¦sheâ�™s just not right for you, and whenever sheâ�™s around youâ�™re a completely different guy.â� I took a deep breath and stared hard into his eyes, â�œYou act like an assâ�¦youâ�™re so arrogant and ughâ�¦but when youâ�™re with me your sweet, deep and sensitive. You are that Brendon sheâ�™s just alienating you into every rock stars nightmare. Get a mirror and seriously look at what youâ�™re sacrificing, it really might surprise you.â� I said honestly. In silence I watched as his lip quivered, something wanted to be let out, but still, that eerie silence lay over the delay.

His eyebrows lowered as he shook his ever growing fringe to the side of his head, â�œYouâ�™re just jealous of her,â� He said bitterly, â�œShe is everything I want because sheâ�™s everything Iâ�™m notâ�¦and you wonâ�™t ever see that because all you do is act like a jealous bitch,â� He spat.

I felt my stomach roll and tears pierce the corners of my eyelids as his eyes burnt a cold stare. â�œYou heartless bastard,â� I forced while walking away.

Inside the pit of my stomach I had never felt this pain before, it was as if someone had ripped out my heart and thrown to the dogs. I never thought Iâ�™d see the day heâ�™d say something like that, he was like all the other guys, and all he was giving me was misery.

Thankyou for reading so far :) I decided to post two chapters in one since i am going away tomorow for a couple of days, so the next update will be friday. Leave me nice things, your thoughts and comments always make me smile xD